Monday, June 15, 2009

Appreciation Thread: Cougars

My recent post about simultaneously making love to two 21 year olds may have given some the wrong impression. So this is a post demonstrating my love for older women.

First, I am not an ageist -- I am an intellectualist. I am looking for stimulating conversation, challenging perspectives, and an arousingly good time. If you read the "LR: Threesome with a Lesbian Couple," you'll notice that these women are extremely intelligent, articulate, and mentally mature. Only 21, yet very self-aware and intellectually expressive. Unfortunately, I've also met 40 year olds as mentally and emotionally stunted as 16 year old.

No matter her age, I freely admit that I'd like to be with a woman smarter than me. The problem is that there are so few that even come close...

Second, the definition of a cougar is simple: A cougar is a woman with a boyfriend or boytoy at least 10 years her junior. That's all.

This could mean she's 38 and he's 28, or even 28 and 18. If the definition implies that the woman is owning her sexuality and, gasp, pursuing her interest, I'm all for it. I remind you that the key to a satisfying relationship (no matter what ages are involved) is respect, reciprocity, and mutual pursuit. The complementary energy of each partner must always balance. This leads to lust, not obligation, every time.

Most women that are comfortable with their sexuality would have no trouble with being playfully called a cougar. Many embrace it, embody it, and find it to be an enhancing and empowering aspect of their identity. If you have trouble with the emotions certain words evoke -- like slut -- it may be time to update your morals.

I love cougars. I think every self-respecting, sexually aware man should give them a try.

Here's what I like most:

1. I like your independence. You’ve got your career together and I admire your success and status. You probably got a starter marriage out of the way already. Hopefully you learned a lot from that experience. So now you have more freedom to enjoy a man that's confident, capable, and ready to open you into pure bliss.

2. I like your straight-forward honesty. If you're interested in marriage and kids -- you say it. If you're looking for a lifetime partner or a live-in partner -- you say it. If this is not what you want -- you say it. There’s no pretext or games.

3. I like making your friends envious. They tell you we won’t last. They call you foolish. Secretly, they envy your freedom whenever they see you so happy and glowing. Do you tell your girlfriends sexual details? Have you told them our shared desire to pleasure them as well?

4. I love your life experience. You’re confident, alluring, sophisticated, and classy. You are a competent flirt and can hold an intelligently humorous conversation. I love that you keep fit and dress so sexy. And you always come prepared with condoms, candles, and chilled wine...

5. Don't even get me started with sexual experience. You’ve already led a wild life and have honed your imaginative techniques. You know your body and you know what you want in bed. You're full of skillful sexual secrets of which young girls have no clue...

6. Oh and sexual enthusiasm. It must feel incredible to be at you sexual peak. It must be nice to be with someone so full of stamina and ever-ready equipment. Someone that can match your excitement, passion and relaxed confidence. I love that you declare what you like, but are equally eager to let me lead you into uncharted sexual territory...

7. Plus there's the taboo factor. There’s a persistent double standard: Our society condones older men hooking up with much younger girls, but an outspoken cougar “preying” on young men is frowned upon. We both get a rush by breaking social barriers, putting the opinions of others aside, and relentlessly going after specifically what we want...

Free-willed and free-thinking,


Blogger filmismylove said...

You use the word "lust" in a very interesting way. I habitually think of it as something that gets in the way of knowing your true attractive switch. Lust seems like something immature and ignorant to the qualities of someone based on factors that have little to no value other than sexual ejaculation. But to know someone who is aligned with their sexual attractions as a pursuit and fully matured to understand them, you have make a lot of sense. I would call it knowing what you want. Not lust, that feels lazy. :)

Keep up the writing.

June 15, 2009  
Blogger GoneSavage said...

FIML, thanks for the comment.

Lust means "an overwhelming desire or craving" or an "intense eagerness or enthusiasm." It indicates hunger, desire, longing, yearning....

If you are doing something because of your craving, eagerness, or enthusiasm, you are doing it lustfully.

Lust is the opposite of obligation.

If you are doing something because you feel you have to... there is a sense of duty, promise, or requirement, you are doing it obligatorily.

Your idea of lust implies obligation. To eagerly and lustfully pursue something might seem immature, ignorant, or irresponsible. You feel lazy.

But this is much more than knowing what you want because it also means going for what you want despite not knowing how you will get it. You trust the process. You trust the trying.

And lust can only be present when there is mutual putsuit. If the hunger, desire, and craving is not reciprocated, it becomes an obligation, or dies out completely.

To know that I am pusuing the one who's pursuing me is to share lust. We crave each other. We long for each other.

Despite hesitancy, despite reservation, we move toward each other like magnets.

That's fundamental. That's hot. And it's the key ingredient to sustaining a lasting relationship.


June 15, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Hopefully you took some spoils."

I hope this was meant as a joke. There are way too many women that use the court system to fuck over men in a divorce.

Interesting post. But it sounds kind of defensive, not at all like most of your other writings.

June 16, 2009  
Blogger GoneSavage said...

"Hopefully you took some spoils."

>>>>I hope this was meant as a joke. There are way too many women that use the court system to fuck over men in a divorce.

Thank you for pointing that out. I will change it. I suspect you are someone that knows a bit about my own situation. By writing that I could be attracting more of the same drama. Thanks.

June 16, 2009  

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