There is a certain flavor to a codependent relationship that might be described as 'driven' or 'intense.' There is a compulsive nature to it. The members are tied to each other almost as with an invisible rope. The slightest move in one causes a reaction in the other. The positions are rigid. Every word or thought is guarded, weighed against the other's imagined response.
How different is the chosenness
of an interdependent relationship! The desire is there but not the intense need. Love, whether for a spouse, a child, a parent, or a friend, is a matter of choice. Should the choreography require, the skaters can more about with beauty and originality. Each can stretch and grow without tilting or damaging the relationship.
, Love is a Choice
Pick-up is dominated by the compulsion of the lower three chakras
, seduction involves the choice associated with the 4th
through 6th chakras
. I assert that all relationships (even one-night stands) that result from the intention of pick-up are codependent. Like attracts like.
Here are some traits of codependents:
1. A codependent has low self-esteem. (PUAs
are notorious for lacking self-esteem and attempt to develop self-confidence -- the shadow to 3rd chakra
2. A codependent is certain that his happiness depends on others. (Look at the PUA's
incessant pursuit of social/sexual value.)
3. A codependent worries about things he can't change and may well try to change them. (Look at the PUA's
obsession with image, identity, personality, value, and status.)
4. A codependent's
life is punctuated by extremes (Look at how PUAs
cycle from sexual addiction to sexual anorexia and/or social addiction to social anorexia).
5. A codependent is constantly looking for the something that is missing or lacking in life. (A PUA
is defined by his sense of lack, limitation, frustration, separation, scarcity, fear, worry, doubt, anger, and attachment