Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Awakening vs Training

This is an incredible insight that I've had based on the most serendipitous surprises encountered this past weekend...

Surprise is a critical element in both pick-up and seduction.

Remember that pick-up is about winning: Getting results.

Seduction is about playing so that you may continue to play: Providing continuity and longevity within a connection that is always intensifying.

In pick-up, surprising the girl is what allows you to "win." The PUA who already knows what moves to make has a decisive advantage over the girl who does not know what moves will be made.

A PUA is trained to anticipate every possibility and to attempt to control the outcome. He's in a mode of seriousness -- obsessed with getting results and not being seen as a loser.

Part of his training is to hide his future moves. The unprepared "target" must be kept unprepared. Everything about a PUA must be concealing. He is obsessed with games, status, indicators of interest, and results. Every move is a deception: false time constraints, false disqualification, falsely demonstrating higher value, etc.

Seducers, on the other hand, continue to play for the thrill of being surprised.

If surprise is not possible, what is the point of playing?

Because we prepare ourselves to be surprised, we play in complete openness. This does not mean candor, but vulnerability.

This means we announce our future moves without anything to fall back on. We speak of what's happening in the moment. We trust the process, delightfully. We chose to be joyous rather than serious.

To me, surprise is not just amusing, it is transformative.

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained.
To be prepared for surprise is to be awakened.

Training regards the past as finished and the future something to be conquered. Awakening finds richness in the past and a sense of continual discovery in the future.

I have exposed my capacity for change and my desire to grow, and I have been surprised by this lesson:

That I cannot predict her future is exactly what makes mine unpredictable.

That is so exciting! Think about it: Our futures have united. What is her future, and mine, now becomes ours. We have a shared focus. We prepare each other for possibility.

More importantly, we prepare each other for surprise.

GoneSavage

2 Comments:

Blogger Erika said...

Yeah, nothing is more exciting than radical honesty. Surprising ourselves in each moment by being ever more honest.

I'm overwhelmed by the moment right now and also tired and needing to sleep, so I'll write more very soon.

xoxo,
Erika

June 09, 2009  
Blogger Barron Adler said...

Great thought GS!

June 16, 2009  

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