Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Designing Our Lives

I once read that something like 40% of people that read blogs also write blogs. Could you imagine if 40% of the people who read novels also wrote novels? Or if 40% of the people who watched porn also made porn? Hmm...

"Who are these egomaniac bloggers?," asked Savage just a couple months ago. "Why do they spend time and energy posting their opinions to the world -- daily -- who cares?"

But since I've reconnected with my purpose in life, I've come to really respect blogging simply because I have a healthy respect for my own opinion. That's all you need -- that, and a generous desire to share with others. If you don't share your ideas about the things you value, you're just being selfish.

Blogging is becoming far more personal for me. I like that. I'm discovering how personal writing takes courage. I'm also learning how it can set intentions and draw people into the deliberate life that I am designing. So this post is going to be a big one for me.

I'm declaring my intentions. I'm stepping into a void without any certainty that my foot will hit solid ground. I'm working without a net.

When I think about designing my life only three things really hold significance. All other things I trust will fall into place. All other things are awarded a lot of flexibility as I know my ability to adjust and adapt.

These three areas of mindful attention for me are: Purpose in life, my primary relationship, and a further exploration of sexuality. And of utmost significance is the fact that these things are intrinsically and beautifully tied together.

#1 Purpose in life

David Deida says: "Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose."

Yes, absolutely.

But -- and maybe I have an unusual sense of entitlement -- I really believe I will have both. In fact, I know that, for me, they are hand-in-hand. Through the demonstration of our intimate relationship, we will both achieve our highest purpose in life.

I'm out to change the world -- and I hold you to the same purpose. I have nothing against careers, but you should know that I will not work a normal job. I'm out to change how humans view connection, relationships, intimacy, and sexuality. I'm here to teach, to awaken, to heal. And you should be too.

We have to lead by example. With me, that means being on the same path. Our purposes are one in the same. I've had relationships with nurses, teacher, strippers -- very caring professionals, no doubt -- but something was always missing. What was missing was this alignment to the same passionate pursuit in life. If you cannot commit to this shared purpose, you will not have a relationship with me. (Though you should read #3 because we still might have a crazy night of pure pleasure with you, but only in the company of #2...)

#2 Primary Relationship

My primary lover will need to clearly understand that this life is about our purpose and our sexuality. The whole vision is that these two things in their entirety will only be shared with one woman.

We both have a desire to experience what it means to have commitment without exclusivity. Care for the relationship prevails over any immediate gratification. I'm done with promiscuity as much as I'm done with monogamy and I hold you to the same expectations.

Within our relationship, we share our dreams, desires, fears, and vulnerabilities. We share with radical honesty, trust, respect, reciprocity, compassion and deep love. We share appreciation, attention, and affection. It's everything you would ever dream of in a relationship -- including cohabitation and procreation -- with a special emphasis on the fundamental purpose of sharing #1 and #3. Wrap that all together and the goal is to make you the happiest woman in the world.

#3 Sexuality

This is the really fun part! (Psst... If you are my potential mate, you surely just lit up reading that!) Because we both have a deep devotion to the continued exploration of sexuality -- this is a chance for a lifetime of erotic awakening.

Since we are both attracted to women, this is a safe place for you to experiment with them sexually, without giving up your relationship with a man. Know that I have no trouble pleasuring multiple women, but your bliss will always take priority.

And men? I think a woman deserves to be properly explored, so the pleasure's all yours.

We recognize our desires for uncomplicated physical sex without the trappings of any further relationships. We honor natural human sexuality by exploring novelty and variety in the physical, but we also honor the strength and dependability that comes with our emotional bond.

The opposite of possessiveness is generosity; but that generosity stops at the heart. The point is that these lovers may temporarily share our pleasure, but they will not bask in our love, devotion, and long-term stability.

In fact, these experiences will only contribute to our longevity and continuity because these lovers have the potential to teach us and inspire us in ways we've never dreamed possible. We are so secure in our purpose, and dedicated to our bliss that we can share our bed with another lover.

So it is written... Everything and everyone prospers me now.

I know you are out there... Together we'll re-write the great American romance!

(I'm so excited, I think I'll put this on Match tomorrow and see what kind of sexy fish are in this great big Internet Ocean!)

Love life,


Blogger Girigoris the One said...


Been reading your blog for sometime now and love the insight and views although I don't agree 100% of the time.

I'm from Sri Lanka (in South Asia) and here 'our cultural values' prevent the expression of sexuality even to the extent of the most conservative western countries. Actually, these are not even traditional Sri Lankan values, but those handed down to as when we were governed by British etc 'fairly recently' n are standard of a sad victorian era which those countries themselves have rejected as outdated.

Was wondering whether you could spend some time to explain how having meaningful sexual relationships can be managed in such a repressed context. I have fucked many women, but I have lost many times that amount due to their shyness and unwillingness to explore sexuality beacuse they are brainwashed to being 'decent'!

If you have already addressed this before, pardon me & could you direct me to the relavent post?


June 10, 2009  
Blogger Hansome said...

hey, I recognize some of those phrases! :-)

June 12, 2009  

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