Thursday, June 11, 2009

Masculine Fearlessness

I've been introduced to the writing of a wonderfully respected female dating coach named Rori Raye. Here blog is here.

She has a concept that seems extremely empowering, yet uniquely freeing from the paradox of choice. She encourages women to date "as many men at once as you can fit in your schedule."

Every man is a messenger, every man has something to teach you about yourself. That's empowering.

But here's what frees you from burden. If you trust this process, the man for you will reveal himself to you. You've exposed yourself to options -- you've called these men into your life -- and now the real fearless MAN will step forward.

This is about encouraging women to stop looking for Mr. Right either as some mystical soul mate or as an impossibly idealized image. And to stop putting up with the hesitation and deliberation of men in general. It is saying neither make this pros-vs-cons list of who objectively should come out on top. And, neither, go with which guy feels right. The point is, the decision is not yours.

You can decide to drop a guy -- to pluck the weeds -- but the decision to move forward has to be made among the men.

Isn't that freeing? You're experiencing all these different energies and receiving all these messages -- and ultimately allowed to blossom into pure femininity because you are removed from the masculine role of being the decider.

Mr. Right is, effectively, the first guy to recognize you as his holy relationship and then to claim you and take you off the market. This is done through actions, and not just words.

Isn't that sexy? In essence, this is the only way you can know he's the one. He had the balls to claim you when no one else did. You can respect him forever for that. Finally, a man who is not afraid.

Now that he has claimed you, you can stop mourning your past. The man who is this fearless will enter your consciousness so deeply that all prior loss becomes a blessing. Space is made for opening into bliss. And that's where the real awakening begins.

I was so intrigued by Rori's powerful and practical concept that I had to ask her this question:

Jason: "If I am understanding you correctly so far: When the real man steps forward and is essentially the first to claim her among her other suitors -- they share the same life purpose and desire to unite -- and SHE then hesitates and demonstrates doubt (perhaps because she was secretly hoping for a different suitor), what feedback is this giving you as the man?"

Her reply:

Rori: "Fantastic question. And I’d say this (though I’m not an expert about what it is to be a man…): WOO her without forgetting all the great seduction community stuff – in other words – YOU control the energy exchange – which way it flows, by going forward and then leaning back… I’d give it a set time period, and then let her know you understand her need for time to make a decision, and that you will date other women until she’s ready… and then DO it. I would stop dating other women for the short wooing period, and then make it plain that you will not wait for her. If I’m wrong here, let me know… I just know that we women can be pieces of work – indirect, not going from our gut, and conflicted, and that you shouldn't tolerate that kind of thing from a woman past a certain point. The best model believe it or not is Edward the Vampire from the movie Twilight. He’s already, intrinsically DANGEROUS, so his devotion isn't icky."

Nice. Exactly my gut feeling.

The only question now is once you're in that short wooing period -- like you want to marry her in 4 to 6 months -- and you've expressed that you will not wait, and she still hesitates claiming to be terrified by commitment, what feedback is this giving you as the man?

Jason

5 Comments:

Blogger Erika said...

Your fearlessness is hot.

Your dangerousness is hot.

Your going after what you want in an unapologetic way is hot.

The feedback her hesitancy is giving you has nothing to do with another guy. The feedback is that she's tired of being disappointed by guys whose words sound good, and she wants to see results. She wants to see you become a provider, make things happen re moving, starting a business, etc.

Seriously you ought to hear the stuff he said. Words are meaningless.

Now I'm going to post another blog on this topic, while watching Twilight for the first time. ;-)

June 11, 2009  
Blogger GoneSavage said...

"The feedback her hesitancy is giving you has nothing to do with another guy. The feedback is that she's tired of being disappointed by guys..."

"Words are meaningless. Now I'm going to post another blog on this topic..."

Your contradictions are as epic as my own. :-P

June 12, 2009  
Blogger Erika said...

But of course ...

Mr. Eternal Love and Dice on the same business card ...

"I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman

June 12, 2009  
Blogger Erika said...

LMAO, btw :-)

June 12, 2009  
Blogger GoneSavage said...

"Mr. Eternal Love and Dice on the same business card..."

Take a chance. You better find out before you time out. ;-)

June 12, 2009  

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