Sunday, May 29, 2005

Real Bad Sick with the Illy Bad Illness, Yo

4AM. Can’t sleep. I’ll pretend someone is going to read this.

I’m on a dry spell that is approaching three weeks. Fuck. Lots of issues. Things that fuck up my internal state and mood and make me want to rationalize not achieving the results that I want. To my credit, I have been socially active in spite of these things. But outcomes have been less than glorious.

First of all, I am sick. Somehow I picked up a cold or some illness. I’ve been coughing and blowing snot for three weeks. I thought I might have caught something from my south Georgia girl, but she says she is not sick and had not been prior to our relations. So I got this somewhere, and while I am taking Advil C&S, I do not seem to be getting any better. It is kind of hard attracting someone when you have to turn your head every 30sec to cough and spit. The coughing and shortness of breath is particularly pronounced if I run or exercise. As well as when I am in smoky bars. And it is damn frustrating when I can’t sleep because of coughing fits.

So, that said, the rest is probably just a downward-spiral-caught-in-a-slump sort of issue. Like feeling like I haven’t been working out or exercising or engaging in enough physical activities. And over-eating and junk-food binging. Not really a big deal. I think all this coughing is actually giving me noticeable ab definition. Anyway…

Other issues, of the past three weeks, just for the sake of getting them in writing: car trouble (money trouble), actual physical work (social obligation in Atlanta), information overload (thanks Aghora), experimenting with indirect and neutral openers (boring), spending time with guys (OK fun, but none of us are getting laid), sight-seeing (distractions?), time and stress related to actual traveling (like finding out where places and people are), bad weather. Blah blah blah.

I have been pursuing this night game too much. To the point now where I have been neglecting day-game and my sleeping patterns are all fucked up. Horribly. It’s probably how I got sick, but at any rate the smoke is not helping me get better. In Orlando I felt like I was progressing in night game. Everything since (Atlanta, Chapel Hill, and Virginia Beach) has felt like a waste of time. I could go into detail, but I see no point.

Must get back into day game with a vengeance. Relentless pursuit.


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