Monday, May 23, 2005

Non-Verbal Mating Dance (AI notes)

A friend recently introduced me to the concept of AI (Approach Invitation). I find it an intriguing concept because not only have I never tried to elicit AI, I have never even actively looked for it. I have opted for the 3 SEC RULE. But, I think it will be compelling to experiment with eliciting AI. Particularly for the fuck-ups and combined notes in this post.

I have enough field experience to know that I fuck up the "non-verbal mating dance" all the time. I do approaches with such relentless vigilance, never with planning or structure. My O:C (open:close) ratio is horrible. Here are a couple counterproductive habits that I will work to eradicate:

1) I often have done “surprise openers” FROM BEHIND. I will approach a woman from behind and grab her sides or touch her shoulder to get attention. She’s startled. She stops moving, turns, and I speak. This was never built on any theory, just me going for what I want. But, according to AI Theory, this is weird, aggressive, and does not give her time to evaluate me for “minimum compatibility.” I am ignoring her “power of choice.” Fair enough, I get blown out more often that not this way, but I’m learning.

2) Once in a while, I am particularly well-dressed for certain night venues. PUAs call this a type of “peacocking.” At such times, I have noticed women checking me out. This is RARE. I will smile and KEEP MOVING thinking “she digs me, she’s a sure thing.” I will then approach a DIFFERENT girl or set, honestly thinking that the AI girl is a sure thing and that I can build attraction by her watching the interaction with someone else. Social proof. Of course, when I go to open AI girl, she is COLD. AI Theory would say that the attraction was already there, and I had a small window of opportunity to move in and engage this girl. By not using that window, I effectively REJECTED the girl. Ouch, I’m learning.

3) I’ve done openers that ASSUME AI when there certainly was none. For example, I will approach a girl who has not so much as looked at me and say, “you must be shy…I’ve been here for two minutes and you haven’t come talk to me!” Or I will stop a girl in passing and say, “Hey, you can’t just check me out and not stop and introduce yourself!” when she hasn’t even looked at me. It’s cocky and funny and it can usually get a conversation started. And, at best, a number that FLAKES. According to AI Theory, I have not given her a chance to look me over. And I have put her on the spot. And if she is not of a high self-esteem or in a good mood, she’s going to walk off. It happens, I’m learning.

Approach Invitation Notes:
EAI-AI is a non-verbal mating dance. AIs complete much of the attraction stage before you even approach so that you don’t have to bother with C&F or other aggressive stuff. Go right into rapport.
She wants you to take enough time to explore her looks and demeanor and make sure there is minimum compatibility.
Give her time to QE before EC, so as to respect her power of choice.
EAI is meant to make the target conscious—nonverbal, subtle interest communication.
After you QE the target, move into her line of vision, she gives you AI, giver her time to look you over without EC or opening.
Attention Attractors force QE – EC, nod, personal space intrusion (grabbing an item), presenting of body.
Gravitation with an excuse activity is a subtle courtship signal.
Pop up several times near her fake the unconscious gravitation leading to more visibly paying attention.
A reassurance icebreaker will officialize the vibe and mating dance and force a reaction from her. After AI, the opener should combine sexual state projection with neutral talk
The 3 sec rule allows her no time to determine a bit before the approach who you are.
This shows that you don’t respect her right of choice. She may also be programmed to blow off all guys who approach like this and surprise her.
If you know she realizes she’s being checked out, that is all you need to assume interest.
If she lingers around (no AR) then you must approach.
There is a fine line between “staring/stalking” and “gazing selectively before approaching”

Opening Lines after AI:
“You have something that distinguishes you from other women, I just don’t know what…”
“You know you attracted my attention for some time…”
“You caught my attention…yeah…I don’t know but I’d like to find out.”
“Hi. Are you from here? What’s your name?”


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