Tuesday, May 03, 2005

FR: Orlando: Night-Game ON-to-GONE

FR/FU: PUA Tour: Orlando: Night-Game ON-to-GONE.

The basic story is this: Every night for a week I have attracted a girl and got to a point where I really *thought* it was ON. Every night for a week, I lost them all for one reason or another. Each story is different, but there are some commonalities. But honestly, right now I’m pretty stumped as to why I am not getting further. Read on.

Some general observations:

*More often than not, I capture the attention of the very first girl I open. This usually isn’t the hottest girl in the place, but a solidly cute girl that I am very attracted too. My type of girl-- an energetic 8-8.5. I actually intend for it to be a warm up, but I do get really intrigued or fascinated, and the connection seems unmistakable, so I stick around.

*There’s issues with being able escalate or isolate, or maybe just realizing that I need to just contact close and eject. I can’t quite place what I am doing wrong, but this trend is annoying. Keep in mind that I am on a road trip (see earlier posts), and that sticking around town to follow up for second day meets is largely impractical. But not always. I need to develop a greater structure or fomula based on a variety of social contexts.

*If you are just scanning the post, SAT and MON represent the most challenging situations in which I lost the girl. Boo fucking hoo, right?

WED
Went to a packed college club with Defixon (I’ll mention our meet and day-game PU in another post). The very first girl I talked to, I connected with, and stayed in set until closing (about one hour). I just rolled up and said. “What’s up? You look like someone I’d like to meet.” We chatted a bit and I shared stories with the rest of her group. We were basically 1:1 the whole night and it seemed like we bonded. Lots of kino (rubbing back, legs, as well as more playful punches and high fives, etc). We kissed and necked. I teased here and we shared laughs. I felt like the convo was never dull and I never lost her attention. She was sober the whole time. We set up plans to meet the next day. At one point she says, “Why me? Of all the girls in here, why did you come talk to me?” I said, “Well, I thought you were cute, but a pretty face here is truly a dime a dozen. After I talked to you, I believe you’re attractive other ways. I like your attitude and outlook on life.” She says, “Good answer.” She smiles. We laugh and continue talking and teasing each other. The place closes and her whole crew leaves together. I default to getting her number. Of course, when I call the next day about our plans, she’s “extremely busy.”

THU
Went to a popular club in downtown Orlando. The very first girl I opened was part of a 2-set with my target being a very cute girl and her friend being not nearly as cute. I stood in the proximity of my target for about thirty seconds before a female bartender got atop the bar behind us and started dancing. I grab the target’s hand (this is the opener) and put it over my eyes and say “Shield me from this smut.” I’m peeking through her finger at the bartender and at her and I have a big smile. I then dropped her hand and turned away. She threw her very long gorgeous hair at me and it hit my face. I turned to here and saw her smiling and said, “You have to quit doing that.” She said, “You like it.” I said, “I know, that’s why you have to stop. It keeps turning me on.” Anyway, convo was underway and I teased this girl and her friend and had them guessing when they asked my name or age or whatever. Long story short, we hung out the rest of the night. We went to a different club together. We shared laughs and bonded. We kissed and made out and there was plenty of kino. I got the feeling it was ON when my girl kept talking about how we had to find a guy for here friend. Like she had become the third wheel. Anyway, this girl was shy and also overly picky about the guys around. I said, “Well, there’s enough of me for the both of you” with a grin. My girl says, “No, I want you all to myself!” and she grabs my dick. She’s dry-humping me in the club with her on-looking friend who won’t dance or talk to any guys. So I felt like the issue of not being able to escalate was this friend. BUT, after closing, my girl actually went kind of cold. I walked them to their car and they drove me to mine, but there was a strange discomfort with her suddenly.

FRI
Similar story. Similar club. One difference is that this was the third set I approached in the night instead of the very first. This girl was in a 4-set of girls, and was among the two hot ones of the group. I just say, “You girls look like fun, come talk to me.” Her other three friends seemed pretty cool with me and they never interrupted as we chatted and kissed and necked and held each other in the corner. I teased this girl more and probably presented myself as being more cocky than the previous days. But of course, at the end of the night, they pulled her away, and I went back to the van alone.

SAT

This one is MUCH MORE COMPLEX, if you have just been scanning the post, read this part. I’m flying solo and I go to this more upscale club that is not as loud. There is a lounge area with several people standing and two girls sitting together. I figure, it is a warm-up approach so I go right in the two set. BUT, again, I got attraction right off the first set that I interacted with. I actually rolled up with this casual confidence and said, “What’s up, do you mind if I join you?” They look at me like, whatever, free country. I jump in with Where are you from, what do you do, type stuff. The girl right beside me is a stunning brunette, solid 9. Her friend, farther away, is a cute blonde, about an 8. The blonde is more responsive to me and the brunette is remaining aloof. We talked about their passions and hobbies and my road trip. I tease the blonde for always asking me to repeat things and I have her guess answers to the questions she asks me. The blonde’s brother, who is a manager at the bar, sits down with us for awhile. Then he takes his sister off somewhere. I’m left with the brunette. We chat 1:1, I told her I had an intuition about her and said something like; “you probably base your important decisions on emotions and feelings rather than logic.” She laughed and said, “Now I have a fortune teller!” During the convo I also said that I admired her for having her life together career-wise (she does graphic layout and restaurant reviews for the city newspaper). Lots of teasing in there too. I rubbed her back a little and gave her some playful pushes, and I tried to number close her. She says, “I can’t” without giving a reason. When the blonde comes back, they both go to the bathroom. I figured I lost them but I just stayed sitting, and smiling. Well, they came back and they wanted to go to a different bar. It wasn’t a direct invitation, but I say, “I’ll come with you, but I probably come back here if it’s lame.” As we walk down the road, I begin playful kino and arm-in-arm walking with the blonde. The convo at the next place all revolved around me and what I was up to and how they couldn’t get a read on me and how they though I was a player. I did some value elicitation with the blonde and she was telling me about how she was tired of playing games and what she would look for in a man. I said things like, “You want someone who is in control of his life, but doesn’t try to be controlling of yours” and “You want someone who is affectionate without being overbearing.” She would say “Exactly!” We had triangular gazing going on and the kino was a little more intimate than before. The brunette was watching and listening and she brings up her BF and how she has a great guy already. The blonde validates that he is a great guy. I turn to the brunette and say, “That’s awesome. It sounds like you’ve already found what everyone is looking for. You’ve met a man that does more than fill a role, but an incredible person who fulfills needs that come from deep within you. Hang onto this.” There may have been a couple more lines, but she basically says, “Look. I think you are cute. If I were single, I would want to get to know you. I like flirting with you even though I am with someone.” I looked her in the eyes and said, “Cool. Thanks for being so open and direct, that’s rare. And what you said is flattering, you make me feel like I’m the shit!” Then I turned my attention back to the blonde. Anyway…we headed back to the first bar and the blonde is clearly into me. The brunette literally pulls her off of me and says to her, “It’s not right. I have an impulse.” I’m like, WTF and I fall like four steps behind. Like, what should I do? I catch up with them, but I am ignored. I follow them in and the blonde goes to find her brother, the manager, and I ask the brunette, with a smile, “Why would you try to turn your friend against me?” Well, with that characteristic bluntness that I like, she says, “Look, I told you that I like you and I can’t give you my number and I have a BF, and I’m not going to sit here and watch you flirt with my friend in front of me. This is our night and she is mine tonight and you have to go.” I’m like, “Cool. I understand. Listen, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way. Why don’t you write down my email and maybe you’ll decide to write me.” She writes it down and also takes out a camera and I get someone to take our picture, then I proceed to eject. The blonde comes back and I decide to exit her first. She actually like, “Why do you have to go? Where are you going?” I get her to kiss my cheeks. And I tell her, “thank you for being so real and genuine.” I turn toward the brunet and say, “thank you for being so open and direct and honest.” (or something like that). I did the cheek kiss and then stopped her in the middle to plant one on her lips. To my surprise, she opened up and we shared a passionate tongue-down right in front of the blonde. This is a post about fuck-ups, and I really don’t know how I could have stayed in this set even after such a green light! Clearly I fucked-up earlier! So I held her face and said “email me” and I was off. I had an empowered state for the rest of the night, opened about 6 more girls/sets, but to no positive outcome.

MON
Hung out with Defixon (ASF member) all day. We chilled at a lame pool party, hung out with two party girls as they dressed and got ready for hours, and then went to a house party, and finally a club. I think we were both bored out of our minds, but he had this girl all over him. I was talking to the various friends that kept stopping by. I struck up a conversation with one girl that came by the girls’ house that we had been at. I actually rode together with this girl to the party and I was joking about lets go somewhere else…let’s drive to California. How much gas do you have. Shit like that. Otherwise just talking and bonding. She definitely was the bright one of this party-girl bunch. No boyfriend either. Anyway, it turns out, that after we left the club (she did not go), this girl asked her friend (Defixon’s girl) to invite me over to her place. It was like 2:30 in the morning and I fuck up a direct invite from a chick to come to her house! You are not going to believe how I fuck this one up, I don’t even KNOW. But it sucks. She’s in bed with the TV on. I come over and rub and touch her starting with her hands and arms and move to her legs and chest. She actually rubs my arm and runs her fingers through my hair too. I try to kiss her, but she turns every time. She’s actually counting. She says, “Strike 3” “Strike 4” and shit like that. I keep counting myself as I kiss and bite her. I try to be gentle and slow. I try to be playful. I try to be more aggressive. I keep getting stopped. I try to freeze her out. She never starts back herself. I try to start back a few times and throughout she’s saying things like….”You’re not my type,” “I’m uncomfortable with you,” “I win,” “You’re not going to seduce me.” I counter everything with a clever remark and try to resume playfulness or intimacy. No go. Of course she never did articulate or explain anything. Just that she got a weird “vibe” from me and she did say that I should not attempt to be aggressive with anyone. Ok, cool. I decide it’s not worth it anyway and there’s no chemistry and I leave. Really strange for me though, particularly because this was on her invite. I told her that perhaps one day she would open up and let someone see what makes her uniquely her and she might be surprised how her life would be enriched or enhanced. She says, “I know when to let the right people in.” And I was out the door.

I’m working on this. I’ve got sticking points and apparently “vibe” issues and I feel like I’m going to continue getting the same let-downs if I don’t realize some direction to take my game. I’m learning and I appreciate these experiences and this community. This frustration of *almost* getting it is worse than being shot down or cold-shouldered during an approach. Getting there.

GoneSavage

2 Comments:

Blogger giordino said...

GS,

Instead of responding to each thing you wrote, I'm just going to reply to the way I felt when I read your FR.

Incongruence.

That is what poked out at me.

It seems like your game isn't "in-line" with itself from start to finish.

When that girl said "I know the right people to let in", I felt like she was saying "I don't trust you, you aren't what you seem".

Some of the tactics you are using aren't gell'ing together properly. So when you use one tactic that is incongruent with the personality type you are modelling, and then use a different tactic, SHE KNOWS. She knows you are playing her.

Anyway, inspirational stuff dude! Keep us updated!

May 12, 2005  
Blogger giordino said...

The other thing I thought:

Struggle a little more.

Your game sounds very "airtight" and you may be too polished, too in control.

Perhaps stumble your words and look lost for things to say at times.

DLV a little as an experiment.

May 12, 2005  

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