Polarize Your 'Game'
This is why you are not getting the 'results' you want.
This post is also going to be the starting point for all current and future clients.
You have to polarize your 'game.' This is to say, when you go out, know what you're intention is.
Consider that there are only two options. Only two paths you can pursue.
I'm going to go ahead and say it because this is key... there is no room for ambiguity, indecision, or inaction here. You have to fully dedicate yourself to one of these two paths. That's it. Don't come to me if you are undecided or you think you want a bit of both. That's not how it works.
Chose one path now. Here are your choices:
1) I am looking for "the one." I am not playing the field looking for someone with mere relationship "potential." I am looking for my mate, my life partner, my holy relationship. I am ready for commitment, cohabitation, and creational sex.
2) I am looking for novelty, variety, and sexual experience. I'm looking for mutually satisfying casual sex. I am looking to hone my technique as a lover, and have short-term commitment-free encounters.
Now, understand there is no judgement with either path. Both are equally valid. The thing to realize is that they are drastically different and require vastly polarized approaches. In short, 'LTR game' is remarkably different than 'SNL game.' More on that in a minute.
The commonality is this: You are going to be open, honest, and authentic with either approach. Your connections will be genuine and from a place of decisive masculinity. You motto is going to be...
"What I offer is exactly as it appears."
The whole point is that what you offer -- what you embody and present -- is different with each path, but always uniquely YOU as the genuine and unapologetic manifestation of that approach.
The problem with mainstream dating as well as most community paradigms is that they encourage you to be somewhere in the middle. The so-called gurus want to appeal to a mass audience and they want you to appeal to a mass audience too. Bullshit. It's tepid, weak, and ineffective. I'm here to tell you that it's also precisely why you're not getting what you want.
Consider some ambiguous shit I hear from guys:
--"Well, I want to play the field for now but I am willing to settle down any time if I like a girl enough."
--"I will try to take her to bed the first night but if that doesn't work, I will try get her on the second or third meet or however long it takes."
--"I'd like to find a girlfriend, but if I meet a girl down for a one night stand, then I'll go for that."
Every move you make needs to display an extreme dedication to only one of these two decisive and masculine paths. From the start. And you get to chose; one, but not both. Trying to play the middle is an exercise in futility. It's an exercise in mediocrity, not mastery.
All that indecisive middle ground vacillating may get you a middle ground girl. You probably got her number, had sex on the second or third date, and then entered into a mediocre default relationship. It's not much different than before you found the community. You are not exercising power and choice -- you're settling -- perhaps you can rationalize that the girl is higher 'quality' than you would have had before, but you are still settling.
Stop that. I'm making an extreme distinction of quality vs quantity here. You are either out to find "the one" or you're out to have fun and share a multitude of thrilling experiences.
You have to play an extreme. Sometimes I see guys deliberately misleading girls but it's more often a more insidious form of self-deception. Playing the middle of the road, or trying to adapt to where she's at is fundamentally unattractive. It's disrespectful to her and yourself. Leading her on, or leading yourself on by glorifying results that don't reflect a commitment to your path (like getting a phone number or a kiss) is so unappealing.
And here's how the community teachings will fuck you up: If you are on the path #1, you really need to be screening, qualifying, and future projecting hardcore.
If you are on path #2, you do not need to be doing these things -- they are not congruent with your purpose. You need to be sexually framing, escalating, and isolating hardcore. And discretion is the name of the game. You are liberating her sexuality to do what comes naturally in the moment. You are becoming the "man that doesn't count."
And I remind you -- either path -- you are to embody 100% congruence. "What I offer is exactly as it seems." You should get this printed on your shirt. You have to state your intention and do not waver. Do not compromise. Do not pussy-foot around with life.
Let's take the example of smoking.
A guy tells me he's on path #1 and a woman who smokes is a deal-breaker as a mate. Then a woman asks if he has a light. He doesn't, but he recognizes that she's attracted, he engages her, chats her up, flirts, and makes moves to take her home. Wrong. This is not path #1.
More common, I'm out with a guy who tells me he's on path #2. He chat's with a girl and ejects. I ask him why. He tells me that she smokes and he could never see himself with a girl that smokes. What? You told me you were on path #2! You can't see your cock penetrating a woman and gaining much-needed sexual experience just because she smokes? Bullshit. This has nothing to do with you and your stated desires. This is not path #2.
Declaring your path is to keep you from creative self-sabotage, and to hold you accountable for your commitment and congruence to this path. And, it is to get the limiting beliefs and sticking points -- most of which you aren't even aware of if you are following typical community dogma -- out of your 'game' ASAP.
To be clear, I am personally in hot pursuit of #1, but I am vastly qualified to teach #2.
This was my clear and deliberate pursuit for many, many years and I've recently outgrown it. But -- I will tell you this much -- I know that my particular #1 match will be drawn to me precisely because of my experience with #2. I will be the best lover she's ever had, and I don't just mean in the bedroom -- all encompassing; attention, affection, appreciation, respect, and a dedication to a shared life purpose.
It feels very natural for me to be on path #1 and mentor guys on path #2. Actors become directors. Players become coaches. This is the beauty of mentorship. In any field, you have to ask yourself: Is there anyone I know or have heard of who possesses true greatness?
Allow this person to enter your landscape as a mentor. Decide your current path, know your intention -- declare it -- and make sure you solidly, and efficiently stick to it.
Chose one of the two paths. Learn all you can to present yourself congruent to that path. Eschew the opposite path. Don't settle for anything in the middle.
That's savage. That's real. And that's the only thing I teach these days.
I am all for the intentional and unwavering pursuit of "the one" -- without hesitation, deliberation, or manipulation.
I am all for the intentional and unwavering pursuit of mutually desired casual sex -- without hesitation, deliberation, or manipulation.
I used to ask potential clients.... What are your short term goals? What are your long long term goals? What are your sticking points? What is the one way that you will know that your experience with me has been all it could be?
Blah blah blah. Fuck that.
All you really need to do is tell me which path you are on -- and convince me that you're sticking to it -- and I will congruently and competently guide the way.