Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Intuition and Manipulation

The word manipulation gets a bad rap in communication. And the word intuition gets this elevated sense of entitlement. But I’m here to tell you that in seduction, they work together. The relationship is as simple as Eye-Hand coordination.

When you read seduction advice, I believe it is useful to return to the original meanings of words.
Intuit – “to have an immediate awareness”
Manipulate – “to skillfully handle”

Intuition – “a way of noticing directly”
Manipulation – “skillful or dexterous behavior”

Intuition – from the Latin intuitio, meaning “a look” or “to look at.”
Manipulation – from the Latin manipulus, meaning “of the hands” or “to hold.”

When you take the stigma off of these words, you see that they are just two ways of using your senses to interpret the world around you. Sight and touch. Visual and kinesthetic. Sounds like Eye-Hand Coordination to me.

Eye-Hand Coordination is defined as “the control of eye movement and the processing of visual input to guide bodily movement; the ability of the vision system to coordinate the information received through the eyes to control, guide, and direct the hands in the accomplishment of a given task."

Eye-Hand coordination has been studied in activities as diverse as sporting performance, music reading, and handwriting. In coordinating seduction, I think of Intuition (immediate awareness) and Manipulation (skillful handling) as being as simple as the Eye-Hand Coordination required for handwriting.

First, let’s look at what these terms are not. Intuition is not “a voice inside each one of us that always knows exactly what to say and exactly what to do,” it is merely getting an immediate awareness based on looking at a situation. Manipulation is not thinking “if I do this, she will do that,” it is merely handling a situation skillfully.

Now, imagine looking at a person and getting an immediate awareness of how to skillfully handle that person. You see this person and you have a perceptive insight of how to expertly lead her to an adventure you know she wants to have. You see her and your immediate cognition tells you how to dexterously maneuver the situation and “help things along.”

You see, intuition and manipulation are both forms of knowledge. And, as such, they are both learned, and they both require practice. All game is not inner game. Not by a long shot. To skillfully handle a situation takes practice. And to cultivate immediate awareness of a situation takes practice. You have to gain experience and learn how to notice directly (intuitive knowledge) and skillfully influence (manipulative knowledge).

We all have refined our intuition to some degree, and we all have trained our manipulation to some degree. It is safe to say that most women have practiced cultivating intuition more than men. And it is safe to say that most men (especially in the community) have practiced cultivating manipulation, aka skillfully handling social situations, more than women.

Furthermore, most of our learning and practice has been beyond our conscious awareness.

This does not mean men and women are very different. And it certainly doesn’t mean that there is a “battle” between the sexes. The most important thing to realize is that these learned behaviors are complementary.

To illustrate this point, I’ll tell you what I like.

I like when I meet a woman who has honed her intuition to such a degree that she’ll take one look at me and say to herself, “now here is a guy who can skillfully bring me the exact emotional sensations and physical thrills that I desire and deserve.” She immediately knows I have the experience that allows me to lead her to radical pleasure and deep satisfaction.

In turn, I might think, “now here’s a woman perceptive enough to notice a guy who can really rock her world.” I know she will appreciate my skill and not get intimidated by a man who knows what he is doing.

And the mutually satisfying and reciprocal nature of intuition and manipulation does not stop there. Consider her skillful presentation (baiting me to notice her with her attire or posture) that allowed my perception of an immediate intuition that led to approaching, connecting, touching, etc.

Intuition (immediate awareness) and manipulation (skillful handling) always play with one another to coordinate the seduction.

By the way, this is commonly called flirtation.



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