Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Appreciation vs Approval

A person with an attractive personality knows how to feed our basic hungers for acceptance, approval, and appreciation… however, one should also realize the subtleties embedded in each of these gestures.

We all want to be around someone who can accept us as we are. We want someone with whom we can relax and become unguarded. Someone with whom we can “be ourselves” completely.

Accept people just as they are. There is no need to set up rigid personal standards. There is no need to insist that people do everything you do and like everything you like. Let people relax around you.

Accept a woman’s faults and shortcomings and still accord her your friendship.

To approve is slightly more positive. It’s not just accepting someone, but finding something about that person that you like. If you have a positive outlook on life, you can always find something to approve and compliment.

Approval means that you are giving praise. Which means you are in dominant position. Think of when you have to get an application approved by a gatekeeper. This also can subtly mean you may be “seeking approval” in return. The community talks about giving approval instead of seeking approval. This is still a weak frame because this is the language of dominance.

To appreciate, on the other hand, is the highest vibrational awareness. To appreciate literally means, “to raise in value.” Appreciate is the opposite of depreciate, “to lower in value.” When you appreciate someone you actually make that person more valuable.

You are giving without feeling superior or expecting a return.

You are just the guy who allows women to feel special; who allows women to feel unique.

Remember that you are never dealing with “women” in the abstract. You are always dealing with one individual girl. You never learn to pick-up or seduce “women.” You can only pick-up this woman or that woman. The world is populated with individual persons.

There’s a saying, “honey attracts more butterflies than vinegar.” This is usually interpreted to mean that you should “sweet-talk” to get what you want. A closer look, however, shows that honey attracts butterflies simply because honey is the type of food that butterflies need.

When you have honey to offer, you don’t need to coerce or convince the butterflies to come have a taste. They’ll be there.

But if all you have to offer is vinegar, well, you might have to go out every night and walk up and down Sixth Street approaching every green-eyed butterfly in sight.


Inspired by Les Giblin


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