Don't Call it A Comeback... I've Been Here For Years!
I’ll get you up to date with the briefest of backgrounds because I really want to talk about the present and future. I found the community back in 99-2000 when all that was around was Ross Jefferies and Cliff’s List. I happened to read the first posts anywhere by both Mystery and David DeAngelo. This was long before they envisioned fame or fortune and just wanted to understand women. I even published articles myself to Cliff’s List a few times back then.
Prior to this discovery, at age twenty, I had been in only two long term relationships – and those two overlapped, so it’s probably where I got some of my perversions – but now I was devouring this knowledge and making these SS patterns work. So I had my awakening hyper-enthusiastic phase way back in college at UGA. I slept with a lot of girls and had multiple girlfriends and played around with radical honesty and polyamory.
Eventually I got consumed by a relationship that turned exclusive, and turned dysfunctional, but lasted nearly four years. I discovered road tripping with this girl and once we toured thirty-five states in three months. The next summer we spent a month travelling every paved road in Alaska. Auto-camping was our things as it allowed us to be virtually anywhere at anytime, on the cheap, and wake up right at our destination.
When this dissolved, I quit my job and sold my shit, left Georgia, and just started travelling the continent, sleeping in my van. I suppose I was nervous with girls at first, but I knew I would be leaving their city or state in a few days, and I knew I had nothing to lose by going for it. I was this roaming rogue, this roadside romeo, that started laying a bunch of girls and accumulating crazy stories. Added was the excitement that if I wanted my clothes washed or a restaurant meal, I knew I had to hook-up with a girl and be especially charming. It was fun and mutually rewarding for both me and the girls.
I found Fast Seduction around this time in 2005 and started posting reports there, and then later on this blog. Guys were digging them and soliciting advice and inviting me out. I liked the attention and met some nice guys. I met Style, Mystery, TD, Jlaix, and a bunch of other cats. These guys wanted me to work with them, but because of some disdain or limiting belief, I turned them down.
The reality was that this was a time when I was just excited about my lifestyle. I just liked being on the road, seeing new sites and meeting new girls. I was really thrilled when I would have a threesome or the time I made love to three new girls independently, but all in the same day. I drove out to Burning Man again that year and ended up on the west coast afterwards. I slept with a lot more girls and met many community guys.
In 2006, I partnered with a guy in LA and started doing workshops. My rule was that I wanted to teach my own original material and I did not want to prospect or solicit clients. We did some workshops in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Las Vegas. They went alright, but there was a real contempt that I had developed with a lot of community guys that I couldn’t quite identify. I knew it had something to do with putting the social above the sexual and this anger that I perceived, but couldn’t remove, from a lot of otherwise great guys.
That summer, I left the west coast and traveled across Canada visiting their National Parks. I drove from Los Angeles to Vancouver and then across British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, and back to Montreal, Quebec to spend a couple months there. This time, I reconnected with some of the girls from last year and had more amazing experiences with some new girls. I also met Johnny Soporno and Frank Kermit, did a lair talk with Cliff, and had Steve P over to my place to do some group trance inductions on a bunch of girls. Then I took my favorite girlfriend on a two month road trip through New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and up to the corner of the continent in Newfoundland. I left Canada in November and was down in Florida by December. Then I had a couple invites from guys to come to Texas. I spent December in Dallas and then came to Austin.
This was now 2007. I did a lot of lair talks and workshops here. I also went and did a month long Spring Break on South Padre Island. After that, I came back to Austin and started going to concerts and hooking up with girls there. I was no longer into the community fad of going out to bars and clubs just to meet girls. So, now stationary, going to shows and photographing the bands became a major part of my lifestyle. I even did some workshops on “Concert Game” – unique because everyone at a show is there for the same reason and has made the same investment. I found it just as easy to pull to my van – a mobile hotel room – living in a particular city as it was when travelling. By the end of 2007, I had been so promiscuous that I felt really lucky when my STD tests came back totally clean. But inside, I felt like something was still missing because the majority of these girls were one-night stands and what I really wanted was to have quality women as a constant in my life.
In 2008, I continued going to shows and meeting women. I figured out how – through charm or wit – to get into every venue for free. I ended up talking to women less and less, but still I would often habitually go to 5+ concerts a week. By June I had stopped contributing to the Austin lair, and by July I had taken an exclusive girlfriend with whom I had a deep emotional connection.
This woman and I road tripped together for a month through the southwest and out to California and up to Burning Man in Nevada. We let both of our circles of friends just more-or-less disappear. When I say exclusive, I have to be honest and admit that I don’t really mean committed. I never gave this relationship the seriousness that it deserved. I still craved variety and novelty; I just wasn’t actively going for it. I wasn’t going to cheat, but I knew I still wanted more. The thing is, I didn't own the relationship -- I did not take a full creative passion in defending it.
She could sense my hesitation and doubt toward. This leads to resentment and dysfunction and fights. I’d insist on breaking up and even insult her thinking that she's be smart enough to leave a relationship going sour. But she’d respond by saying “No, we’re not breaking up, there is something more here that you don’t realize – potential that you don’t see – and I’m not letting you give up.” I thought she was crazy, but the insane assurance in her voice compelled me to see what was next for us.
What came next was a bitter parting. Thats is all I will say, lest people draw vastly ridiculous conclusions.
But I’m left in a period of introspection and healing. A period of transition. A time to surrender my amour.
"I'm reminded that "Healing is revealing."