Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Montreal: Answering Community Feedback


AtoZ: So far we've got ballsiness (rolling up and sitting down unphased next to 4 girls at a table); playful, fun and engaging convo with setting up a dominant frame of being the master populator and girls filling job positions for you; working the table in best traditions of group theory (ignoring the target first); qualifying the target; good parting SOI; follow-up persistence (calling twice) and working the circumstances spontaneously to your favor (gaming the roommate on the second call)…

GoneSavage: I need to have you around to decipher my stories and really point out what is translatable into pick-up terms! I think I’m getting better at it (and including more) but it is still a bit of a challenge to be an active observer of my own social interactions. Good to have people like you that see my mental workings. Much appreciated.

AtoZ: Then it was upping the tension by flaking twice (although this wasn't exactly planned, eh)?

GoneSavage: I was aware that I upped the tension, especially after attracting the second girl, but it could have backfired. And although I was *aware* that I was flaking, it was not intentional—though you may suspect—once you see how I turned it around. Tension and intrigue was HIGH and thankfully this didn’t backfire—real risk especially with two flakes.

AtoZ: Also I'm curious - did the girls resist the 'got my own province to populate and you will work for me' frame or did they just jump into it? In a situation like this I could see a few playful shit tests potentially popping up here and there during the job assigning part. Were the roles and the following demands made of them just plain accepted as part of the laughs and built on, or did you get some flak, even if subtle, from the friends/target at that point? Like someone saying "and what is it that YOU do" kind of thing? Of course that would be begging for a very obvious answer...

GoneSavage: I think I hinted toward the ‘master populator’ scenario in the beginning and let it subtly fade to a hear-and-now scenario. (Think about how a ‘tour guide’ wouldn’t make sense in the former.) So it becomes more about me being there in a new city all unfamiliar with everything and how I playfully expect these roles to be filled so we all can have a good time and cooperative fun. Playful, fun, open, generally HSE girls will jump into these frames. Otherwise, it is a screening mechanism for me. If one girl isn’t directly into my scenario, but the other three are *for her*, then its still a good time. I like to think it is all for laughs and living in the moment. What can I do? …naturally I adore them and cherish them and show them things that make them feel absolutely wonderful…

AtoZ: By the way for anyone doubting - having witnessed some of the later parts of the interaction between these two, I can attest to the fact that this girl was COMPLETELY in love with GS. You guys have no idea.

GoneSavage: Was and IS… It’s funny that I didn’t meet AtoZ until I was about to leave Montreal. We’re set to meet at TamTams and he finds me with this girl on my lap. I tell her she can sit there as long as my touches don’t distract her and she’s still looking for the guy with the yellow shirt. Then AtoZ and I both run into yesterlays. We both leave with girls. Good times. (I also got a $92 ticket the one day I parked in front of his house…haha)

Bedhead: I find that email rather hard to believe - that a nineteen-year-old would write in such an articulate fashion. A very rare exception, perhaps. But she is not the only one whom you have quoted as writing in such intense, almost literary style. It seems that the girls I encounter are almost a different species. Is it only in Montreal that young women seem like they have stepped from a European arthouse movie?

GoneSavage: Touch a woman like she has never been touched. Affect her on a level than no man has ever accessed. Show a woman her soul. You’d be surprised how they respond and what they attempt to articulate.

I like including these emails because they validate my artistry and my skills as a communicator. And they should allow you, as a reader, to notice the subtlest nuances (as well as the similarities) to fine-tune your own communication. I think when you are able to notice such shades of distinction it will enhance your own artistry. (Compare the way HBcafe writes to the way HBfashiondesign writes. Or look at the emails in that post from the girls I lost.)

It’s another instance of calibration—important here because I read too much into HBfashiondesign’s emails that led to the 3some misunderstanding…

And it’s not just in Montreal. You should see the emails that the very first woman I bedded on this tour still sends me. I like the Montreal emails because it became a *necessary* communication tool there. Most of the ones I have published were indeed girls that I lost. So sad. I also like that it forces them to articulate things in English that they normally would express in French.

Value words. Become a masterful communicator. Make the world your European arthouse movie. Fuck shit up. GoneSavage

RikerAUT: Why does it seem like all the really good pick-ups involve conscious manipulation of the girl by using patterns, lines, etc. to tool her? I can't do these - I find it very unnatural and feel like shit sitting there telling her some elaborate "pattern on the fly." I think it is sneaky to use artificially constructed language that relies on proven psychological concepts just to bed a girl.

GoneSavage: I thrive on being positive, open, passionate, adventurous, joyful, spontaneous and expressive. Underneath there is a bedrock of confidence, a strong sense of self-worth, being a visionary and being in-control. Of course I enjoy brilliant communication, verbal fluency and rich imagery. I value sound over sight and I’m getting better at realizing the importance of timing and rhythm. I mix all this together and try to put an original perspective on things, challenge convention, and reframe bad programming. Keep the interaction moving forward in a fun way and that’s about it.

Then I put myself out here for whatever it is worth to anyone. Do I need this community? Does this community need me? Dunno. Final thoughts:

1) I was congruent to “being just friends” with this girl until I was clearly pursued. Thought I was clear about this.

2) Among other things, she learned what it was like to make conscious sexual choices and pursue someone that captured her attention. She also learned what very attentive, expressive, and emotional sex was like.

3) Anyone that thinks my approach is ‘sneaky’ or using ‘artificially constructed language’ that relies on certain proven psychological concepts’ is clearly taking my posts way too seriously. There is not that much to be read into them, at least not in that way. Some people really do think too much and interact face-to-face with real people too little. If you are going to think about it, I invite you to at least think in a new direction.

Jlaix: I think a lot of people will read your LRs and go out spitting romantic love poems of delight with a unicorn and all this shit, and will be miscalibrated with it and seem weird.

GoneSavage: It’s funny that I don’t think my game is poetic at all. I deal with powerful themes….directly, with intent, expressivity, self-confidence and self-control. But my game is really not that rich with poetic or vivid imagery, allusions, or metaphors (just a couple). Mostly themes. It’s a bit romantic, yes, because this is a powerful theme. I like it this way and apparently a good number of girls do too.

Jlaix: But guys need to realize that you can take a little bit >from everyone, and not have to EMULATE or IMITATE them to get results... in fact, it can be counterproductive to do so, because you're not being true to yourself.

GoneSavage: Yes. But hopefully they are actually in field trying new things (just as you did) and discovering what is congruent with them. There is a ‘game’ that is uniquely and wonderfully your own and you’ll never find it sitting in front of a computer. Props to anyone out here digging for their diamond. You have to sift through a lot of worthless dirt to find a single nugget of radiant truth. But in the end, its worth it.

Jlaix: The REAL reason for your success is obvious to me... you have DISCIPLINE and INTENT up the fuckin ass!

GoneSavage: Yes. I have a lot of intent and discipline and maybe just a little conviction, audacity, and originality. Probably a little charm, positivity, playfulness, and passion. Don’t know how far that takes me. “Try not to become a man of success, but rather a man of character.” –Einstein.

Jlaix: Every day, he's working several girls at once, and staying on top of his shit like it's a full-time job (which I presume it is, as you are on some sort of PUA-Tour...?). Combine that with a STRONG DESIRE TO GET LAID and you are putting shit up on the scoreboard like BOOM BOOM BOOM. That's the true lesson of GS's posts. Bravo. Brav-fucking-o.

GoneSavage: Thanks. The only fool greater than the fool who expects big results from small changes is the fool who believes that big changes can be accomplished without risk. Opportunity vs security. Guys that I have not met in person are unaware of the changes I have made and the risks that I take. Montreal was an exercise in faux-security and I was deep in-field 30 days straight. Who really takes that risk? Love life. GoneSavage