Monday, November 28, 2005

Montreal: Community Shouts Back


Aphro—Do you seek to build rapport trust and comfort with the chicks you lay? … Are you serious? Uh, yeah of course. This should be obvious. Sex without an emotional connection is mere athletics. And how do you know that it is not going to LJBF land?…. I don’t even consider it an option. A girl knows that my role is as a lover. My intent from the start is to be more than a friend for her—the best lover she has ever had. HSE, intelligent, sensual girls with a sense of deservedness and not a lot of past regret and trauma find this approach refreshing. I am totally confused with how and to what levels rapport one should build with chicks?…. Try different things. Find what works for you. Personally I NEED rapport myself and a sense of connectedness to really want to get physical and show her my skill, loving touch, and willingness to make her feel wonderful. Consider that rapport builds attraction. Consider that rapport builds arousal. Consider that there is such a thing as sexual rapport. Have fun.

Droots22—I like the multi-date concept and I will play with it more in the future. Consider that I give compliments to a) keep the convo light and playful and b) create competition and a light sense of envy. Like, why does he dote on her and not me? Hey, why does he notice that trait about her? Hey wait, I’m that too…notice me…pick me! Ya dig? I like your insights. My point was to keep the interaction so artfully ambiguous that they both would have felt validated and “chosen” without me explicitly picking one over the other and hurting the one that wasn’t picked. Yes, its about having choice, power, balls, and being at such a comfortable level with your sexual confidence that you can exhibit such selectivity in the face of multiple women. I will do this again.

Aghora—No time to read romance novels—I am living them!

Q20—Thanks for your comments. I frame everything as win-win and mutual and cooperative. It’s refreshing to me; and to most women.

Nostromo—Good that you have picked up on the classic coming of age theme. Those that have met me in person often hear me talk about theses two motifs: 1) Hero is dissatisfied and sets out on a voyage of self discovery. 2) Stranger comes into town, shakes things up, and rocks the world of the leading lady. Think about all the epic stories that exist. Good stuff.

Narcissisto—What I remember most about that dead Sunday in DC is trying to game working girls and crashing a salsa party at 3AM. And you getting a little hammered. Keep hanging with Alessandro, I like his joi de vive.

KitKatMan—Of course I do stuff that is beyond what is the norm and standard for them sexually. Every part of my communication is unlike anything they are used to. I derive the intent of my pick-up artistry from my sexual confidence and ability. Yes it is an issue of trust and a willingness to be taught, as you say. I am always leading, teaching, and training in the bedroom (or the van). I feel like a lot of guys are fucking and they say stuff like, “Do you like this? Is this good for you? What do you NEED?” I’m more like, “Notice how good it feels when I do this…now imagine feeling that intensity ten times as strong, ten times as powerful…okay now I want you to do this…” Leading her into territory she might not have every experienced. I’m sure there are really good books on creative writing and expression. I’d like to find them myself. More importantly, I would like to find the time to read them. The thing with writing LRs is that they are draining to write. Time, energy, effort, recall, expression, meh… The reality is that I write them for myself as a record of my experiences and in a style that is uniquely reflective of me. It is delusional to think that I record these events for any other person or reason.

Papi Chulo—I don’t know if I conveyed this in the post, but I was aware that asking her to articulate her attraction for me was a bit of a risk. But I was at a point where the convo was not conductive to seduction, so I took the chance. And I must have had a feeling for it anyway, because it was this risk itself, as she said boldness or “balls,” that is the core of what she could express about her liking. I like your summation: “Assume attraction and act accordingly, have the confidence that you can give her an amazing experience, have the confidence to communicate to her your intentions and your power to make her feel deliciously wonderfully.” Very good. I like when guys see the principles rather than gathering “routines.”

Thrillseeker—This is one of those things that give me mixed feelings about the community. I’m just at odds with people finding “routines” in my art and using them in rote miscalibrated ways. But of course it is going to happen. We all borrow from each other and influence each other. I do too of course. Best of luck with these kinds of themes and threads.

Jlaix—I give off the playerish vibe too often as well. It just seems a normal reaction based on her prior experiences with guys unlike me. I calibrate whether to deflect or embrace the notion with each girl. Some themes to work with depending on the woman and the vibe: the difference between a player and a playboy, discretion, respect, being refreshingly honest, being picky, finding her unique, knowing more about her body than her, teaching frames, deservedness, true romance, etc etc. I really don’t get the notion of “pussy power.” I have fun with this because I frame our interaction in such a way that there is absolutely no reason or way I could use or hurt her. Her heart can’t be broken unless she has an expectation that I don’t share. I explicitly make it known that I cannot offer any sense of permanence or future. The stunningly gorgeous woman that I closed last night came from a rough background of emotionless one-night-stands and she claimed to be on a “sexual strike” with herself. She saw me as a player and an “imposter.” It took me hours of reframing and building comfort, but in the end she described it as the most amazing and “transforming” experience of her life. In fact, two of the last three (none posted) were successful because of heavy reframing (real paradigm shifting) and persistence persistence persistence.

Alpha Romeo—where else should I be? I’m in love with Montreal, what can I say? I’m down to my last three or four days though…

Slackass—The best summary I can give you concerning my first interaction is this: I usually open neutral to not alarm or to give her a chance to put up pre-programmed defenses. I tell stories that have no moral, no punch line, and no remarkable point. They’re kind of boring, but told with enthusiasm. They convey that I am open, spontaneous, observant, and social. Not much else. I assume that being in my presence is going to allow her to become attracted. I take everything as an IOI. I keep talking. I ask her playful qualifying questions and make statements that allow her to picture us doing fun things together. I’m flirtatious with kino and body language and facial gestures. I’m sure it is a lot like GWM--but I have not read that text in its entirety. If I contact close, I make a powerful SOI (see recent posts) that will *explicitly* let her know that I intend to sweep her off her feet. It also safely negates the neutral opener now that I have some level of rapport. That’s day one. And yes, I have lost some *stunners* that were pumped at the end of our first interaction, but talked themselves out (or whatever) of meeting me. I have closed three women since the double-date-escapade. They all three were heavy on building sexual rapport, but in uniquely calibrated ways. The keys to each were different. The first girl needed lots of powerful and authoritative sensual talk and all the persistence a man can muster. The second girl, it was important to qualify and test her sensuality and energy level and to get her chasing me. The third girl had real issues and needed reframing and reassurance beyond belief. Persistence, testing, and reframing were all keys to sexual rapport.

Icedub—Very very good insights. Adapt concepts that you come across and make them fit your style and outlook on life. Not the other way around. I think questions to qualify or screen should be playful and thoughtful at the same time. Be prepared to give your own insightful answer to the same questions. I am 100% sure of what I can give and take. And it is MUTUAL. It is win-win. That is what I am becoming more congruent at explaining AND expecting. Mutual respect, mutual honesty, mutual adoration, mutual sensuality, and to just together share the moment and the magic within it. Yes—find your own inspiration and relate between your own life and experiences. Real game is real life. I approach life as positive and beautiful. And I only use art metaphors now.

Artist—I’m sexually confident. Honestly, I’m more confident about my ability to please a woman than any other pick-up related skill. I have read many sex books in my teens, and put everything to practice since. The point about the hand massage is to set up that I expect mutual adoration and mutual exploration. Everything is win-win. I will show her something to make her feel great (giving), but I expect her to then do the same for me. I’m her teacher and teachers test their pupils. Anyway, I can tell you that my game will develop more into the realm of sensual and sexual testing (screening-qualifying) and my intent (to have mutually gratifying intense and passionate sex) will become even more direct.

N3RV1—These girls are actually all very cute with great personalities and fantastic individual qualities. Most of these women are literally *begging* for more of my time. I really have to leave this city, and they know it. I have to document this shit just so it’s no so blurry. Don’t be envious. My health is a wreck. I have no normal eating or sleeping patterns. I have no money. I am burning savings as slowly as possible. And, yes, I am homeless. I’ll leave you on that note…..

Love life, GoneSavage

“I play today with a death grip, and play hard-to-get with tomorrow so I don’t look so fucking desperate…”