Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Fair Fight Rules

1. We will deal with only one issue at a time. This is to avoid the 'kitchen sink' effect where people throw in all their complaints, and nothing gets resolved.

2. We will not 'hit below the belt.' Attacking the other person's area of greatest personal sensitivity is counterproductive; it sets up an atmosphere of distrust.

3. We will not insult each other. This includes labelling, psychoanalysing, commanding, threatening, preaching, moralizing, or changing the subject.

4. We will not generalize. Generalizations are exaggerations of the facts, such as saying "you never..." or "you always..."

5. We will keep the discussion in the present. If a current situation resembles an old one, we will deal with the current situation without digging up the past.

6.We will not 'stock pile.' We will avoid storing little grievances and letting them build up into an inflammable pile of hurt feelings.

7. We will not 'make believe.' This includes pretending to have feelings or not expressing feelings in an attempt to keep the peace or protect the other person.

8. We will not overreact. An extreme response frightens people away; this includes threatening to move out, threatening to break up, and threatening to harm oneself.

9. We will not give each other the 'silent treatment.' This is a form of emotional violence that is very demeaning and disrespectful.

5 Comments:

Blogger Miss Mercedes said...

VERY Nice!!

September 03, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gonesavage I think the rules that u have are cool and would help relationships...but the simple fact of the matter rules will not always be followed. A simple rule for a man is be emotionally unreactive to the emotional storms a woman puts you through

September 05, 2009  
Anonymous Nilondoner said...

I want to print this and stick it to the wall

September 08, 2009  
Blogger Erika said...

I like it, a lot :-)

September 08, 2009  
Blogger Marquis said...

the fact that for so many this would eliminate most of the language they use in an argument is telling of how unhealthy most relationships/arguments are conducted.

September 14, 2009  

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