A of S: Calculated Surprise
"People are bored, not only with their own lives but with people who are meant to keep them from being bored. The minute they feel they can predict your next step, they will eat you alive.... Always keep a surprise up your sleeve. To keep the public's attention, keep them guessing. Let the moralists accuse you of insincerity, of having no core or center. They are actually jealous of the freedom and playfulness you reveal in your public persona.
Finally, you might think it wiser to present yourself as someone reliable, not given to caprice. If so, you are in fact merely timid. It takes courage and effort to mount a seduction. Reliability is fine for drawing people in, but stay reliable and you stay a bore. Dogs are reliable, a seducer is not. If, on the other hand, you prefer to improvise, imagining that any kind of planning or calculation is antithetical to the spirit of surprise, you are making a grave mistake. Constant improvisation means you are lazy, thinking only about yourself. What often seduces a person is the feeling that you have expanded effort on their behalf. You do not need to trumpet this too loudly, but make it clear in the gifts you make, the little journeys you plan, the little teases you lure people with. Little efforts like these will be more than amply rewarded by the conquest of the heart and willpower of the seduced."
First, I'm of the Zanism that "Women are to be celebrated, not conquered."
But I love this idea:
Reliability = timidity
Constant improvisation = laziness + selfishness
Calculation + surprise = leading with suspense
"...the irresistible lure of being led by another person..."
"...suddenly surprise them with some bold or poetic or naughty action."
"It is the pleasure a woman has in being led by a confident dancer, letting go of any defensiveness she may feel and letting another person do the work."
"...surprise creates a moment when people's defenses come down and new emotions can rush in."