Sunday, July 05, 2009

Anti-Depressants and The Pill

Drugs: A great topic to discuss early on with your potential paramours. I have no problem point-blank asking women what drugs they take, either of the illegal sort or the over-prescribed sort. At a recent workshop, a student of mine asked "Won't that sort of question weird a girl out?"

First of all, if you're trying so-hard to ensure that she's comfortable, then you are woefully missing the point of masculine directive. Second, anything you ask coming from a place of genuine curiosity will almost always be answered without resistance. If not, then you just screened an emotionally insulated individual out of your reality. Third, even if you are not screening against drug use, it is still an important aspect of mutual understanding, worthy of bringing right out in the open.

For the record, I don't do any drugs - not even vitamins. When I was on Path 2 - the pursuit of casual sex - I would bring up this topic, not to screen women, but basically to get a snapshot of who I was dealing with. "If she's crazy in the head, she's crazy in bed" is absolutely true in my experience. If you're down for a single night of wild sex, or a short term fling, there is no point screening out a girl just because she does drugs. Remember that the key to Path 2 is providing a sense of non-judgement. This does not mean non-disclosure. Foreplay begins with conversation. The more taboo topics you can bring up, and accept without judgement, the more trust she will have for you as a sex partner.

But this article is about Path 1. Wild and loud sex does not necessarily mean good sex. There is a huge difference between a deeply emotive sexual connection and mutually scratching a basic biological itch. In seeking a committed relationship, I'm looking for a true sexual connection that permits longevity and continuity.

Finding a woman that is drug free is essential to this vision.

Using the research of John Young, I'm going to talk about the two most prevalent types of drugs and how they affect a woman's sexual drives and desires. (All studies are cited at his website.)


According to Scientific American, "one in three doctor’s office visits by women involved the prescription of an antidepressant, either for the writing of a new prescription or for the maintenance of an existing one, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."

One third of women in the US are on some form of antidepressant. 60% of women on antidepressants report noticeable decline in sex drive or other sexual dysfunction. In fact, the same drugs are prescribed to sex offenders for the explicit reason of decreasing their sex drive!

Young reminds us: "With a few exceptions for various organic brain problems; most people are on anti-depressants because that's what insurance companies push as a quick-fix; not because of some sort of genetically-inspired imbalance of neurotransmitters. It's simply cheaper to put a depressed woman on a psychoactive drug than to pay for therapy to figure out why she is depressed and fix it."

The pills are just a cover up. They mask the symptoms and don't even begin to tackle the core issue that is making her depressed. And as already stated, they kill her sex drive. I'm going to take this on a case-by-case basis, but this is certainly a compelling reason to screen against women on antidepressants.

Hormonal Birth Control

This one is even more insidious. Hormonal birth control (such as The Pill) work by hijacking a woman's natural reproductive cycle. High concentrations of steroid hormones (estrogen and progesterone) are taken to prevent ovulation. This is an extreme hormonal fluctuation that completely recreates her 'chemistry.'

As if the common side effects of acne and weight gain were not enough, there is now evidence that The Pill may affect what male body odors (pheromones) a woman prefers, which can influence her selection of partners.

How does this relate to Path 1 relationships? Simple. When she comes off The Pill because you've together decide to procreate, and her body chemistry returns to normal, she may actually find that she is no longer attracted to you. Suddenly she's not drawn to your scent.

A study by Craig Roberts at the University of Liverpool also suggests that women on The Pill are far more likely to cheat on their partners because of the reduced anxiety of pregnancy.

Most importantly, no one is telling women that sabotaging their reproductive cycles can lead to poor mate choices. As a man, I want to know the woman I've selected has also selected me without being under the influence of hormonal hijacking. Again, this will be a case-by-case scenario for me, but I am compelled to screen against women on hormonal birth control.

I should also mention that while I'm basically looking for 'the one,' I am not looking to make a baby immediately. That said, I have no real desire to ejaculate inside of a woman until we are clear in our intent for creational sex. Save something for the honeymoon, right? Maybe I am just a bit jaded from being on Path 2 for so long, that STD risks aside, I would be a little concerned that hormonal birth control would fail (from either accidental or conscious misuse by the woman.)

Until the woman is right, and the time is right, I prefer to be responsible by providing my own birth control that we call the barrier method, AKA condoms.

But back to the core issue of this post: A drug-free woman is just that. She is not under the influence of any mind-altering or body-chemistry-altering substances including antidepressants and hormonal birth control.

If you think about it, what I am really screening for is a woman who freely, joyfully, and entirely of her own volition, makes informed choices.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

let's be real gone savage, I would say 80% of the women in urban cities (aka los angeles, new york, etc...) are not traditional marriage material. why? because girls want to have fun. most women hide their promiscuity under cloaks of relationships... women are basically behaving like guys these days when it comes to sex but I should not complain because I'm having my share of casual sex!

July 05, 2009  
Blogger Aldonza said...

I was fascinated by that study on birth control and pheromones as well. Apparently women are inherently more attracted to men with complimentary (different) immunological profiles. This switches when pregnant or on hormonal birth control.

I wonder if it works the same with alpha male vs. beta male preferences?

July 06, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with finding a drug free woman in today's America!

July 06, 2009  
Blogger Erika said...

Energy healing = drug-free.

I take the occasional Advil, that's it.

And I do agree with you that medications are a "cover-up" for all kinds of issues that actually have emotional roots.

July 06, 2009  
Anonymous Dream said...

Hey man

I think youd be surprised at how severely foods and a lack of infrequent vigorous exercise can screw up hormone levels- in men and women.

I'm all for being natural, but I believe the cons of birth control are overrated. A girl who eats fast food, grains, soy (vegetarians), and drinks beer a few nights a week, and then does nothing but aerobic exercise is doing far more damage to her hormone levels than a pill ever will.

Ill blog about it soon.


ps- check yo mail son!

July 08, 2009  
Blogger Benedict Smith said...

the percentage on anti-depressants is very concerning. that's why i've always tuned out girls that said something of having a beer every day after work....look in the mirror before casting stones angel.

July 12, 2009  
Anonymous Honey said...

Since the pill works by convincing the woman's body it's already pregnant, if you are trying to make a baby then as soon as she's pregnant she'll prefer your scent again, and after that you've got a child bonding you into a family.

The BF and I don't want children ever, and I *love* hormonal b/c (haven't had a period in YEARS) and it actually is prescribed to clear up acne, so I'm not sure what source you got that bit from. I also was under the impression that weight gain was more due to the age women were when they went on the pill, not the pill itself, though I don't know that for sure and could DEFINITELY be wrong.

It hasn't affected my sex drive at all, though I hear that is a common complaint.

July 24, 2009  

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