Monday, February 15, 2010

Savage Compatibility Test

Are you feeling a little exhausted with this whole online thing? Are your efforts yielding sub-par results? Are you ready to discover what it takes to find someone worthwhile?

Are you ready to stop making mistakes and wasting precious time?

If you're really ready, I'm going to give you all the insights you need. They're all right in front of you in this simple test that is both fun and powerful.

To begin, give yourself 100 points. Proceed accordingly:

1. If all your pictures are from within the last year. Add 10 points.
2. If you have at least one standing, full body picture. Add 10 points.
3. If you have any pictures without you in them (like pets or travel). Subtract 10 points each.
4. If you have pictures showing hairstyles that are not current. Subtract 10 points each.
5. If you have more than one picture with a drink in your hand. Subtract 10 points each.
6. If you have a picture wearing sunglasses. Subtract 20 points.
7. If you have a picture holding someone else's baby. Subtract 30 points.
8. If you have a picture with either an ex or the ex cropped out. Subtract 40 points.
9. If you have a picture of you in a Halloween costume. Subtract 50 points.
10. Wait, if it's a really, really sexy costume. Add 50 points. ;-)

11. If you list your exact age. Add 10 points.
12. If you list your exact, current, honest body type. Add 20 points.
13. If you live outside of Austin, Texas. Subtract 5 points per mile.
14. If you let a guy know you are interested by winking. Subtract 20 points.
15. If you actually take the time to email him instead. Add 20 points.
16. If you like to waste my time with a week's worth of emails. Subtract 30 points.
17. If you believe connection is all about voice and having a real conversation and would rather get me on the phone. Add 30 points.
18. If you have tried eHarmony. Subtract 40 points.
19. If you are also meeting people in the real world. Add 50 points.
20. If you are actually not really single, or you are just goofing around, or you're taking a girlfriend up on a dare, or you have no intentions of meeting real men in real life. Subtract 100 points.

21. If you can admit that looks are important. Add 10 points.
22. If you know that you have a lot more going for you than your looks. Add 20 points.
23. If you look as good without makeup as you do with. Add 30 points.
24. If you can keep a lively, intelligent conversation. Add 40 points.
25. If you call yourself spontaneous, and really, truly mean it. Add 50 points.
26. If you read books, but don't define yourself as an academic. Add 10 points.
27. If you are confident in your career, but still make time for new experiences. Add 10 points.
28. If you like to party, but do so sparingly and responsibly. Add 10 points.
29. If you are intriguing rather than impressive. Add 20 points.
30. If you are trendy rather than original. Subtract 30 points.

31. If you like aquariums. Add 10 points.
32. If you like being photographed. Add 10 points.
33. If you like mayonnaise. Subtract 20 points.
34. If you have your own place with no roommates. Add 30 points.
35. If you listen to music that is not on the radio. Add 40 points.
36. If you actually go to concerts. Add 50 points.
37. If you are writing me to try to get into concerts for free. Subtract 50 points.
38. If you are writing me to get free massages. Subtract 50 points.
39. If you are a Gemini. Subtract 50 points.
40. If you spend more time watching TV than with men, face to face. Subtract 50 points.

41. If you truly love yourself and love being a woman. Add 10 points.
42. If you truly love men and hold no bitterness toward any of us. Add 20 points.
43. If you truly love sex and have a high sex drive. Add 30 points.
44. If you truly love life and see every day as a potential adventure. Add 40 points.
45. If you believe that honesty is not only the best policy, but one of the strongest aphrodisiacs. Add 50 points.
46. If you have come to realize that passionate relationships always being passionately. Add 50 points.
47. If you have come to realize that age is nothing but the number of times we've traveled around the sun. Add 50 points.
48. If you are not afraid to make a man feel desired as a man. Add 50 points.
49. If you fully understand that all we ever have is the present moment. Add 50 points.
50. If you believe that chemistry can be determined by a test or a survey. Subtract 50 points.

51. If you believe that chemistry can only be felt one way: By having fun together in person. Add 100 points.

So how did you do? Did you smile or laugh? Or did you take it waaay too seriously. Just like any other means of meeting people, the key to online success is having fun.

Email me your score and I will ascertain your compatibility based on my tried and true compatibility matching scale. ;-)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would question your statement that passionate relationships always begin passionately.

And more importantly, I would question the value of passionate relationships. Passion is a child of ego and body. Compassion, on the other hand, is a child of the soul.

February 15, 2010  
Blogger brookeyogi said...

i hate this. never use this again.

March 05, 2010  

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