Jealousy vs Territoriality
He takes the conventional view that jealousy has to do with immaturity or psychological defects. Jealousy is "an emotional response based around low self-worth and insecurity."
On the other hand, territoriality is "instinctive rather than emotional, coming out of the survival programming at the base of the brain." He says this is a "special problem for alpha types" who like to mark and defend territory.
"Territoriality doesn't go away by increasing self-esteem." It's all about this primitive, possessive animal inside us.
Kaldera says that jealousy (the self-worth issue) is dealt with by affirmations, assurance, and affection from your partner.
Territoriality (the primitive drive) is dealt with by negotiations and compromise.
However, David Buss, would say that they are one in the same. I'm halfway through The Dangerous Passion which explains how jealousy co-evolved with romantic love and how the two are inseparable. Here are some excerpts:
1. "...jealousy is a blind passion, just as our hunger for sweets and craving for companionship are blind. Jealousy is emotional wisdom, not consciously articulated, passed down to us over millions of years by our successful forebears."
2. "Despite its dangerous manifestations, jealousy helped to solve a critical reproductive quandry for ancestral men. Jealous men were more likely to preserve their valuable commitments for their own children rather than squandering them on the children of rivals."
3. "Husbands in our evolutionary past who failed to care whether a wife succumbed to sex with other men and wives who remained stoic when confronted with their husband's emotional infidelity may be admirable in a certain light.... Non jealous men and women, however, are not our ancestors, having been left in the evolutionary dust by rivals with different passionate sensibilities. We all come from a long lineage of ancestors who possessed the dangerous passion."
The studies and findings are even more interesting, but that's enough to start a discussion. So what do you think? Is jealousy an esteem deficiency or emotional wisdom?