The Paradox of Choice

I'm working on a landmark post about systematic selection vs intuition (unconscious intelligence). I call it "landmark" only because it is going to be far more personal than most of the stuff I publish.

But first, a tangent:

Some researches did an experiment where they showed online dating profiles to young single men and women. They all said that they would rather choose among twenty possible dates than four. But after checking out the profiles, those given more options to view found the situation far less enjoyable. Having more options made the task more stressful and also increased a feeling of having missed out on a better match.

It's called the Paradox of Choice: With more options comes more potential for conflict.

The effect has been studied a lot in consumer psychology. It turns out that shoppers are attracted to more alternatives, but the way to turn browsers into buyers is to provide less choice.

Of course, I want to relate this to "game" and our beloved community...

First, look at the amount of material out there. Overwhelming to say the least. What's more, there are conflicting points of view. You have to limit your own consumption. You have to allow yourself a beneficial degree of ignorance, so that you can go out and get the experiences for yourself. Trust that your gut feelings will always take you further than second-hand information.

Personally, I have the rule that I will only consume one sedution community related product per year. Of course, I pick ones that I already know will resonate with me. Most insights will immediately mesh with my reference experiences, the ones that don't, I will carry forward until I learn on my own.

If you really want to get comfortable trusting your social intuition, you have to give yourself a ratio of about 1 to 4. That is, for every one hour you spend consuming material and reading blogs/forums, you should be "in field" for four hours.

Ultimately, if you want to consider yourself good with women, your most influential teacher should be women. Not secular evangelists with interchangeable aliases and indistinguishable sales pages.

Back to the Paradox of Choice:

Stop bar hopping. Pick a venue and post up for the night. There are going to be less options, but it will encourage you to take your interactions further. You will learn more from conversing with 4 girls than "opening" 20 girls. Venue change only when you are with the girls.

Personally, about two and a half years ago, I made a firm decision never to go out "to meet girls." I meet women with ease while enjoying other activities. I love going to concerts because of the energy, intensity, and novelty. It's an activity I love. The opportunities to meet single women are far less than bars and clubs, but I still manage to meet the most fascinating woman at any given show.

You're probably better off if you live in a smaller city, simply because of the overwhelming opportunity that exists in a larger populace. In North America, I think Austin is ideal in size and diversity. Also remember the Proximity Effect; we tend to hook up with people that we are exposed to the most -- oftentimes this means coworkers or people that live very close by. I know some guys that only play venues that are close to their homes to maximize this effect.

Take this to heart, in "game" less almost always means more.

Less information is better.

Less choice is better.

And one more thing; less time is better.

I'm not talking about time constraints or that "magic" number of seven hours.

I'm talking about getting your intent right out there in the open, quickly. Don't waste time hesitating. Taking your time and concentrating on your every word can lead to paralyzing deliberation. Analyzing does not generate better choices. It's better to trust your intuitive judgement and make the instantaneous decision.

Love life,
GoneSavage

PS: This could very well be my last community-focused post ever. So, I'm going to nail this point with a "Pop Quiz."

1. You are on a reality show and you have to form an uncanny connection with only ONE woman, but you get to chose, do you want to do this in a room full of 20 women or in a room of just 4 women?

2. You can go in armed with a simple list "10 seduction rules of thumb" or a 100g hard-drive full of the latest DVDs, ebooks, and interviews with gurus. Which do you pick?

3. Finally, you can chose: Do you want 7 hours to make this connection, or do you want 90 minutes?

All that matters is that ONE woman says something like: "Yeah, we really connected, we just clicked!"

Which do you pick, sucka?