FR: Jersey Shore: Let the Good Times Roll

Jersey Shore Stories:

6/28 Ocean City: Man, I have to get to Atlantic City. Tonight. I have to be around adults. This city is so PG-13. It’s a dry city, you know? No alcohol, no vices. It’s cool that there are a lot of people--families--so there is an intense energy and lots of positive vacation energy in the air. But it’s like, well check this out, I stroll the streets and these girls give me looks, you know? Like real flirty “come talk to me” looks. And you know me, I’m so full of life and vibrant and open, I’ll talk to anyone. Just to share stories. It’s even better if they’re cute. And these girl are really cute, but also, really…young. Like, I know you want me to talk to you, you want to get to know me, but you’re like fifteen! And your dad is right behind you. Don’t give me that look! And sometimes you can’t tell. I keep forgetting that girls develop sooner than guys. So these girls that are eying me, they look, uh, of age at first, then I see the guys they are with and they look so young and hopeless. Wait a sec, how old are you? Good, good, you’re safe. So, where should we go in Atlantic City? Where do we grown-ups hang out?

6/28 Atlantic City: I roll into town and I find this place called the Quarter. People I met in OC recommended it as the best place to meet, you know, positive and creative people. So I just go into this casino and I immediately see this stunningly gorgeous girl. Incredible body, wearing a tight pink dress. Long blonde gorgeous hair. She’s like thirty feet ahead of me and moving quick. Everyone she passes does a double take. That beautiful. But no one stops to talk to her. You know me; my curiosity gets the best of me. If something catches my eye, I have to know more. Like, I’d be kicking myself all day if I let an opportunity slip by where I didn’t at least take a chance to see what she had going for her besides her looks. So anyway, I catch up with her and I say, ‘Hey, you look like someone I’d like to meet. I’ve only been in this city for about a minute, where are you headed?’ But it’s really cool because she’s really responsive and like we’re instantly comfortable with each other. Like we’re standing there talking and rapport feels so natural. She tells me that she is going to this other casino to play craps and I should follow her. I don’t know anything about gambling, so I entice her to teach me. But I tell her I don‘t chase women but maybe I would swing by later and find her. Well, I want to check out the city anyway, so about two hours later I go into the casino that she told me to come to. And there she is. At the bar. She’s talking to these two older dudes. I felt like we had such comfort together, I just came up from behind and gave her a squeeze on the shoulders and asked if she had any luck playing craps. She’s all like, glad you came by and let me go teach you to gamble. We go to the table and I’m like, cool what do we do? She says I need money, you know I need this much money to buy chips. I’m thinking wait a sec, weren’t you here to play? Can you buy one round to teach me? And she completely turns. Sour. Gives me this dirty look. She says, “Baby, I’m at work here. And if you don’t have money, I don’t have any reason to talk to you. I’m going back to the bar where I have clients that have money and are not here to waste my time.” I’m just like whoa---I’ve found a working girl! I had no idea this shit was in Atlantic City. I’ve been to Vegas, so I know about it out there. But I thought Atlantic City was a little more tame, a little less, uh, sinful. Nevada is so beautiful though. You ever been to Vegas?

6/30 Long Beach Island: I’m hanging out with these surfers that I just met. I’m just asking them about surfing and telling them about me and what I do. Took a couple cool pictures of them riding the waves. See I had no idea Jersey was such a surfing hotspot. And they’re telling me that once you have the basics you really want to come to a place like Jersey. It’s a challenge. The waves are unpredictable. So, we’re talking and bonding and we end up hanging out all day. We cook up this chicken dinner and salad and we’re having beers and playing Scrabble and telling stories. They give me a tour of the island and we climb the lighthouse for spectacular views. You can look out over this dense fog and see this far off mast sticking out of the dunes from a ship that wrecked like 300 years ago. The ocean has extended the shoreline and covered the ship, so all that’s there is this ghostly mast. Really cool. Then we go to this nightclub. It’s like the only place on the island. And there’s all these himbos there. You know, like these ultra-buff meatheads that are so into their looks—really conscious of what they wear and how they appear to others. Like they have this perfectly spiked hair with blonde streaks and such. You know, to compensate for the fact that they really have noting to say; they have trouble relating to women and carrying a conversation. It’s like they have more in common with your beer bottle than with you. Yeah, they are both empty from the neck up. I swear there was this one guy that had on makeup. No shit, like eyeliner or something. So there’s me and my buddies, the surfers, and we’re just chilling out and laid back. But also social and talkative, you know? So we’re just like, ‘How are you? How was your day?’ And we’re getting all this attention. And the himbos are getting kinda pissed. They’ve been holding up the walls all night just hoping for someone to notice them and how they look. But it’s really not about that, it’s about how we connect and relate to one another and how you and I can communicate. That’s why I study interpersonal philosophy. So, have you ever been surfing?