The Four X-Factors of Success (PT notes)

These are notes from Psychology Today 6/05 “The Superpowers” article by Carlin Flora. The article explains the four “x-factors” that create a larger-than-life personality whose essence (beyond brains, talent, or beauty) make a person stand apart: Charisma, Chutzpah, Joie de Vivre, and Grace. This is completely relevant to the art and game of seduction. Enjoy.

Charisma
Likened to magic and mysticism
Common in figures that inspire devotion
Brilliant communicators, verbally fluent, use rich imagery
Expressivity is the most visible trait
Underneath is someone sensitive, in-control, eloquent, visionary, and self-confident
Charismatic people never play small
We spot charisma in people within seconds of meeting them
A charismatic person acts as a bonding agent, allowing you to give in to togetherness You forget yourself in his company and climb into the palm of his hand
They have great synchrony, rapport, and unconsciously adjust posture or speech
Charismatic people get others to synchronize to them
They have a keen sense of timing, repetition, rhythm, and image
They play the crowd like improvisational jazz
Charisma can’t be taught, but it can be approximated by communication techniques that will ideally become second nature
Social proof: I better pay attention to him because these other people have
Examples in article: JFK, Tony Robbins, Oprah, MLK Jr, Steve Cohen

Chutzpah
Putting an original perspective on things
Exhibiting brash outspokenness, outlandishness
Moving forward without worrying about offending, upsetting, or annoying
Being a bad-boy, making jaws drop, making people say “oh, the nerve”
Openly challenging conformist tendencies
Crossing social norms to purposefully challenge convention
Having originality and simplicity over a bedrock of intellect
Having an original idea and the insight to know it’s important
Having conviction, audacity, and drive when the world punches you in the nose
Being persistently audacious with a fearless temperament
Arrogantly taking advantage of social knowledge, at the risk of hurting others
Walking the line between productive shake-ups and naked aggression
Using natural boldness, gumption and being provocative to break boundaries
Chutzpah often creates contempt and jealousy
Examples in article: Craig Venter, Erin Brockovich, Judith Regan

Joie de Vivre
Having zeal paired with emotional responsiveness
Being charming, perky, encouraging, playful, exuberant, joyful, positive
Like windup dolls that never run down
Passionate explores who view their work as play
Social interaction is a positive reward for these people
Getting excited by the new and novel
Motivated to meet new people and connect with them
Exuberance spreads quickly and expands peoples sense of possibilities
Unbridled excitement and a gratefulness to just be alive
Envious people will trivialize joie de vivre
It is a mistake to believe that exuberant people haven’t seen the complexities of life
Examples in article: Angela Brown, Richard Simmons, Yo-Yo Ma

Grace
Having equanimity and fierce benevolence
Dignified, authoritative, but immune to the corruption that comes with power
Rarely overwhelmed by their own feelings or by discomfort
Wise, able to put people at ease, emphasizing shared interests
Poised, with impeccable timing, able to strike the right emotional chord
Introspective, able to cut to the heart of a problem, warm, compassionate
Open, tolerant, calm, composed, mindful, kind
Able to accept life’s inevitable slings and arrows
Supremely conscious of the correct way to uphold a public role
Ale to use their radiant presence to connect with the public
The quietest of the x-factors; rarely stirs up annoyance or suspicion
Examples in article: Nelson Mandela, Buddha, Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy