Thursday, April 21, 2005

FR: Georgia: Pull the Trigger and Ride the Bullet

Kind of a strange turn. I’m doing this PUA roadtrip driving north to Canada, but on a coin toss, I decided to go south first. Heads I head south, tails I soar north. I’m pretty sure I am going to go all the way down to Miami and Key West, then to turn north following the Atlantic all the way to Montreal. So I just drove Atlanta to Valdosta,GA. All interstate travel. South Georgia is known for peaches, pecans, peanuts, cotton, sweet onions, and fruitcakes. I passed the World’s Largest Peanut, the state Cotton Museum, the Crime and Punishment Museum, and a “VIP Spa/Flea Market.”

Destination: Valdosta State University.

Spent the day doing campus PU. This is my first day doing such in years. My own campus was a prime ground in my pre-LTR days, and I believe I can make campuses in general a hotbed of the PUA tour. College campuses are everywhere and hotties are all over them. But I have obvious sticking points and congruity issues, details within.

I did at least 30 approaches and got 10 phone numbers in about 4 hours. This counts many instances where the opener was non-responsive or the PU soured and I did not pursue the number. There were six instances where I pursued, in spite of the “boyfriend,” and could not get the number. Four of the number I got, the girls declared they had BFs. I’ll detail specific openers, closes, and sticking points.

I was specifically doing number closes for practice as I am re-entering the game. I wanted to asses my skill and confidence levels. I will get back to the level of same day closes, but I am certainly not there yet. I believe that playing a strict numbers game as I did seems a bit needy and validation-seeking. Maybe I am not completely comfortable with being on campus for no other reason than PU and using the internet. Anyway, I did not *sense* an opportunity to carry anything further in the same day, but I didn’t structure it that way either. This was first-day practice. And it was a hell of a lot of fun. My energy was high all day. Even as I write this, I’m still smiling. Also, my face is sun burnt to a point of slight pain. ;)

Nearly all approaches were outdoors. If I had a basic opener, it was “Hey…there’s something about your look that intrigues me, and I couldn’t let you walk past without meeting me.” Or “….without introducing yourself.” In a few instances, I added this softener after the, “Hey”: “I know this is awkward, but...” Usually I only said this if they looked noticeably stunned or weirded-out. Usually they went ahead and told me their name and I reciprocated. A couple times, I said my name first. A couple times I did not offer my name at all. If I did not, it was mostly because it didn’t strike me to (convo was underway), not because I am following some rule.

Next I just asked, “Are you single?” or “Is single?” Rarely did I get a straight “yes.” Two girls that said yes, I busted on for being so forward and not having a BF and asked them if they were man-haters or emotionally unstable or something. Haven’t decided if this is solid game, but I got the numbers. Anyway, usually you get a drawn out “no” to the single question. Sometimes a “well I just started seeing someone” or “I’m kinda seeing someone.” To me, these are Yeses.

Whatever the response, I tried to sense if they were hurried and I asked a few small talk/rapport questions. What are you studying/what class are you waiting for/where are you from? My basic close was, “Listen, I don’t know how open or adventurous you are, but if you give me your number, I’ll call you and we can get together.” While writing, I usually said something like, “This is just going to be something low pressure, like getting coffee, because I don’t know how weird you are.”

As I felt more into the approaches, I started doing more spontaneous openers. Including shooting a rubber band at girls and once I hit a chick’s butt with my journal. I don’t know if this is solid game, but I got the numbers.

I led a number close today in the library by opening with, “You must have bad taste in men, or you must be really shy, I’ve been sitting here for five minutes and you haven’t come talk to me.” She actually apologized and told me how focused she was on studying.

When I got the “I have a boyfriend” remark, I said a number of things like these. Yes, I usually said all of them, after the previous one did not get a bite. I don’t know if this is solid game, or seemingly desperate, but I got four numbers of girls with BFs. It’s funny and cocky stuff. These lines seem to get laughs and then I pull out a pen and paper. One girl laughed and said, “Well, you earned it.” Of course, you know I’m still going to have flakes, but these are my anti-BF lines:

“I don’t see a ring on your finger, so I guess your options are still open.”
“Good, I won’t feel pressured when we go out since you already have someone for…physical activities.”
“Here’s what we should do…let’s introduce your boyfriend to my girlfriend, so you and I can talk.”
“Listen, you have to ask yourself, is this someone I’m with just because he’s filling a role, or is he fulfilling needs that come from deep within me and deep within the woman I long to be.”
“Hey, well we can still be friends—you know, just friends—and you can introduce me to all your hot friends that are single.”

If the boyfriend complex was too much to give out her number, I politely said something like, “…you know I’d be kicking myself all day if I didn’t talk to you and see if you were someone who could take a chance (or ‘more than just a pretty face.’)” And wished them a good day. One BF-girl expressed that it was “bold” of me to approach her because most guys don’t. One BF-girl said that she was “extremely flattered” that I talked to her. Interesting, but ultimately useless.

Oh yeah, there almost always was a “you sure are cocky/confident” style comment. I’ve said stuff like, “I’m just honest. A pretty face is a dime a dozen on this campus, and I’m really hoping to find someone open, adventurous, and fun.” Or, “Spending time with me is the best possible way you can spend your time. And I can prove it.” ;)

I’m sure I am leaving out a lot, and ultimately when you do these numbers-game experiments, the approaches tend to blend together. Observations and thoughts:

***Nearly every girl I approached was an 8+ on anybody’s scale. There are that many hot girls here. It is kind of overwhelming. The very first girl I talked to was smoking hot and highly receptive. I was hitting 50% earlier in the day. I guess I was getting tired or sloppy. But, I *felt* about the same level of confidence or energy throughout. Maybe it was external. Maybe later in the day, after classes and tests and shit, but still before they can eat and relax, girls are less receptive?

***The girls that I personally found the most attractive (more ‘my type’ I guess) were more responsive (in the sense of giving indicators of interest, giving their number in spite of BF, getting their own paper and pen, etc) than the hot girls that weren’t particularly my type. I think that I probably had body language or tonality that conveyed more interested or I had more genuine rapport or something. Thoughts?

***In order to do this PUA roadtrip, I believe I have to become skilled at same day pick-ups. After all, I will be in a different city every one to five days or so. Of course I will stick around for a day-2 that looks solid, but I obviously need direction to get away from the contact-close numbers-game PU. Today was “game” mentality for me and it was fun and I think it gives you a basic picture of my current skill level. Ideas?

***This goes with the above. I think allowing the *assumption* that I am a student at the college, is not the best way for me to go. Interestingly, I was put in the “Is this some psychology project?” frame twice. I ran with it, like, “yes how perceptive of you. I have to know everything. If you don’t give me the right answers, I’ll never be able to write this paper.” Went nowhere. Like I said, I want to get out of the *student* frame explicitly and early. Suggestions for conveying that I am from out of town and only there for one day/night?

***Cell phones are a bitch. Girls walking between classes are constantly on them. I tried flipping this rubber band and got evil stares. It was surprising though how easily the rubber band opened girls that were not on phones. This is a small chunk silly thing, but any tips on getting her off the phone?

***Other issues that I see in my approaches from today: Generally the PU is really quick. I verbalize a time constraint, but maybe I end things prematurely. I know it’s been suggested to engage a girl for a couple minutes after the number close, I did not do that at all today. I like approaching and generally don’t get anxious over it. I think a lot of what I do is maybe too unstructured or haphazard? Maybe too direct at the same time? Does this make sense? I guess it is an issue of congruence. I’m sure there is a bunch of other stuff that I am not even realizing, but it was my first day out in over three year and I was happy to just take action and get results.

This my first field report and I'm excited about feedback and criticism. Please read my recent PUA Roadtrip posts to get a sense of the unconventional leap that I have taken. I shot the gun and now I'm riding the bullet. GoneSavage


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