Sunday, May 29, 2005

Real Bad Sick with the Illy Bad Illness, Yo

4AM. Can’t sleep. I’ll pretend someone is going to read this.

I’m on a dry spell that is approaching three weeks. Fuck. Lots of issues. Things that fuck up my internal state and mood and make me want to rationalize not achieving the results that I want. To my credit, I have been socially active in spite of these things. But outcomes have been less than glorious.

First of all, I am sick. Somehow I picked up a cold or some illness. I’ve been coughing and blowing snot for three weeks. I thought I might have caught something from my south Georgia girl, but she says she is not sick and had not been prior to our relations. So I got this somewhere, and while I am taking Advil C&S, I do not seem to be getting any better. It is kind of hard attracting someone when you have to turn your head every 30sec to cough and spit. The coughing and shortness of breath is particularly pronounced if I run or exercise. As well as when I am in smoky bars. And it is damn frustrating when I can’t sleep because of coughing fits.

So, that said, the rest is probably just a downward-spiral-caught-in-a-slump sort of issue. Like feeling like I haven’t been working out or exercising or engaging in enough physical activities. And over-eating and junk-food binging. Not really a big deal. I think all this coughing is actually giving me noticeable ab definition. Anyway…

Other issues, of the past three weeks, just for the sake of getting them in writing: car trouble (money trouble), actual physical work (social obligation in Atlanta), information overload (thanks Aghora), experimenting with indirect and neutral openers (boring), spending time with guys (OK fun, but none of us are getting laid), sight-seeing (distractions?), time and stress related to actual traveling (like finding out where places and people are), bad weather. Blah blah blah.

I have been pursuing this night game too much. To the point now where I have been neglecting day-game and my sleeping patterns are all fucked up. Horribly. It’s probably how I got sick, but at any rate the smoke is not helping me get better. In Orlando I felt like I was progressing in night game. Everything since (Atlanta, Chapel Hill, and Virginia Beach) has felt like a waste of time. I could go into detail, but I see no point.

Must get back into day game with a vengeance. Relentless pursuit.

Monday, May 23, 2005

My Top 5 Sticking Points

1) Ejecting before rejection. Not making an SOI or pushing for a close. Not “making the ho say no.”
2) Asking too many questions. Not making enough statements. Need to stray from the bland rapport questions.
3) Making surprise approaches. Not observing AI or eliciting AI.
4) Being too direct or too try-hard. Not using neutral openers.
5) Being too social and not sexual.

Non-Verbal Mating Dance (AI notes)

A friend recently introduced me to the concept of AI (Approach Invitation). I find it an intriguing concept because not only have I never tried to elicit AI, I have never even actively looked for it. I have opted for the 3 SEC RULE. But, I think it will be compelling to experiment with eliciting AI. Particularly for the fuck-ups and combined notes in this post.

I have enough field experience to know that I fuck up the "non-verbal mating dance" all the time. I do approaches with such relentless vigilance, never with planning or structure. My O:C (open:close) ratio is horrible. Here are a couple counterproductive habits that I will work to eradicate:

1) I often have done “surprise openers” FROM BEHIND. I will approach a woman from behind and grab her sides or touch her shoulder to get attention. She’s startled. She stops moving, turns, and I speak. This was never built on any theory, just me going for what I want. But, according to AI Theory, this is weird, aggressive, and does not give her time to evaluate me for “minimum compatibility.” I am ignoring her “power of choice.” Fair enough, I get blown out more often that not this way, but I’m learning.

2) Once in a while, I am particularly well-dressed for certain night venues. PUAs call this a type of “peacocking.” At such times, I have noticed women checking me out. This is RARE. I will smile and KEEP MOVING thinking “she digs me, she’s a sure thing.” I will then approach a DIFFERENT girl or set, honestly thinking that the AI girl is a sure thing and that I can build attraction by her watching the interaction with someone else. Social proof. Of course, when I go to open AI girl, she is COLD. AI Theory would say that the attraction was already there, and I had a small window of opportunity to move in and engage this girl. By not using that window, I effectively REJECTED the girl. Ouch, I’m learning.

3) I’ve done openers that ASSUME AI when there certainly was none. For example, I will approach a girl who has not so much as looked at me and say, “you must be shy…I’ve been here for two minutes and you haven’t come talk to me!” Or I will stop a girl in passing and say, “Hey, you can’t just check me out and not stop and introduce yourself!” when she hasn’t even looked at me. It’s cocky and funny and it can usually get a conversation started. And, at best, a number that FLAKES. According to AI Theory, I have not given her a chance to look me over. And I have put her on the spot. And if she is not of a high self-esteem or in a good mood, she’s going to walk off. It happens, I’m learning.

Approach Invitation Notes:
EAI-AI is a non-verbal mating dance. AIs complete much of the attraction stage before you even approach so that you don’t have to bother with C&F or other aggressive stuff. Go right into rapport.
She wants you to take enough time to explore her looks and demeanor and make sure there is minimum compatibility.
Give her time to QE before EC, so as to respect her power of choice.
EAI is meant to make the target conscious—nonverbal, subtle interest communication.
After you QE the target, move into her line of vision, she gives you AI, giver her time to look you over without EC or opening.
Attention Attractors force QE – EC, nod, personal space intrusion (grabbing an item), presenting of body.
Gravitation with an excuse activity is a subtle courtship signal.
Pop up several times near her fake the unconscious gravitation leading to more visibly paying attention.
A reassurance icebreaker will officialize the vibe and mating dance and force a reaction from her. After AI, the opener should combine sexual state projection with neutral talk
The 3 sec rule allows her no time to determine a bit before the approach who you are.
This shows that you don’t respect her right of choice. She may also be programmed to blow off all guys who approach like this and surprise her.
If you know she realizes she’s being checked out, that is all you need to assume interest.
If she lingers around (no AR) then you must approach.
There is a fine line between “staring/stalking” and “gazing selectively before approaching”

Opening Lines after AI:
“You have something that distinguishes you from other women, I just don’t know what…”
“You know you attracted my attention for some time…”
“You caught my attention…yeah…I don’t know but I’d like to find out.”
“Hi. Are you from here? What’s your name?”

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Lust is Not a Battle or a Conquest (GWM notes)

I've been introduced to GWM(2-3) Here are some notes:

Women love sex. The natural man knows that the desire for sex is there and will act upon it for mutual gratification. Sex is a natural thing that happens between a man and a woman. It is not a battle or a conquest. It is animal lust.

Think like a MAN and an adult, not something weak or helpless.

Don't look for trouble, but don’t avoid it either.

Don’t take shit from anyone with a smile. Don’t grin and bear it, just bear it.

Your sexual state and testosterone will drive your aggression and persistence in mating and competition with other men.

Have male masculine role models. Like Arnold in the Predator.

Biologically men and women are very much alike.

Move confidently. Look people in the eye and do not break contact. Touch a woman when it feels right. Stand close to her. Talk in a calm sexy voice. Party hard. Let loose.

Don’t verbalize sexual things. Be a subtle sexy man and don’t use lewd behavior or pick up lines.

GWM clubs
Busy tonight! What are you drinking?
Why are you wearing that in here?
Did you notice ….
Do you come here often? (tongue in cheek) shoot a look like “just kidding what a pick up line….”
You from these parts, where are your friends?
Hey, me and my friends are having this after party deal, you should follow us…
We didn’t get much of a chance to get to know each other and party, let’s hit my place and have some drinks and listen to some tunes.

Implicit direct = neutral with shared pretenses?

Friday, May 20, 2005

I'm a Migrant Sex Worker

If you can tell me what these distinctions mean and why I would bother to write them down, let me know….

I’m here on business.
I’m here visiting friends/family.
I just moved here.
I am thinking about moving here.
I’m here for x (attraction/event).
I’m on a road trip (passing through).
I’m here on vacation.
I’m searching for something.
I’m running from something.
I’m a local resident.

I’m in search of my soul-mate.
I’m in search of variety.
I’m in search of myself.
I’m in search of my soul-city or dream job.
I’m a travel writer/photographer.
I’m here for volunteer work.
I’m starting over/turning a new leaf.
I’m a wanderer/drifter/vagabond.
I’m running from the law/press/parents.
I’m a migrant sex worker.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The Saga Continues....

It’s pretty simple when you think about it, and don’t think too much about it. Think of all the great stories you’ve read and movies you’ve seen. We’re talking “epics” here. I bet they all follow one of or both of these two basic themes. Two basic plots. Let’s call them uber-plots:

1) Man leaves behind all that is known and familiar and set out on a journey to find himself or change things.

2) Stranger comes into town and shakes things up, changing what is known and familiar.

1 is my story. 2 is hers. The challenge is 1) having enough varied and meaningful interactions to feel like I am learning and growing and 2) convincing her that I am the “perfect stranger” capable of rocking her world—giving her the emotional and sexual connection that she has dreamed of (and then some)—and memories that she will cherish forever.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Thoughts on Pleasure and Joy

5/14. I’m out of “field” today. Purposefully. Relaxing and reviewing. Getting introspective. Studying. Thinking about where I want to take this game, this tour, and my life.

I met a great girl a couple days ago. I’m sharing the weekend with her. She’s beautiful. She’s got a high-self-esteem. She’s ambitious, intelligent, and driven. She’s affectionate, playful, and giving. A great hostess with a great outlook on life. She’s adventurous. We’re going camping!

Some guys have already expressed to me that they can’t believe I pull chicks and I sleep in a van! And here is a girl that has known me for the blink of an eye and wants to hit the road with me! (Actually, a few other girls have expressed the same desire.) But this one I am going to take on a memorable little journey (for a day) – maybe she will recoil and retreat to the hustle-n-bustle of her daily grind. Maybe she will get her own van or take a road trip on her own terms. Maybe she will rethink what she believes to be important, comforting, or limiting.

Maybe we as so-called pick-up-artists can influence people in ways we never dreamed or imagined possible. Maybe we should seek and offer more than sex, validation, or any egoic gain. Maybe we can help women taste inner freedom, joy and peace. Just a glimpse, you know? This is an artform, right? Maybe I am getting ahead of myself.

For now, I know that I need to be more conscious of the frames I set, the value I display, and the direction I take my interactions. To be aware of effects and emotions (among other intangibles). I need to write down and solidify these themes, attitudes, and dreams. To use them and live them thoughtfully and deliberately.

I read that pleasure is derived from external things, while joy arises from within. How many of our journeys are seeking pleasure-fulfilment-recongnition-validation-security? And how many of us are actually seeking and discovering our own personal joy and love and inner stillness? What do you give your energy to?

The present moment is all we ever have. GoneSavage

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Vibe Cooperation, Not Competition (Natural Game notes)

Assume attraction.
Use personality to make her feel great.
Open direct (including compliments on her beauty).
Body language is congruent with intent.
Move directly to vibing and rapport.
Be playful and get to know her.
Make her feel good with humor.
Vibe is of cooperation, not competition.
Tell fun stories, not stories meant to impress.
Lead the interaction with a continuous flow of action.
Lead smoothly and confidently to escalation, isolation and close.
Create a wonderful experience for the woman.
Give her the fantasy and allow her dreams to come true.
Be the man she’s been waiting for, romantic from the start.
Display emotions, talk about passions, be unpredictable.
Enjoy the anticipation, time is not a factor.
Have a relaxed and relished certainty.
Rock her world and thrill her with masculine vibe.
Only do what you need to do to create a strong impression.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

LR: Orlando: Score at the Virgin-MegaStore

This LR (from Saturday) concludes my adventure in Orlando. Hopefully I will have time to also write up another LR, an outing report (with Defixon), and some interesting FU/SPs from the past week. (**The computer lab at this community college is closing early, so these will still be delayed.)

On with the story....

Friday I went to Downtown Disney which is basically a shopping/dinning/entertainment complex right outside Disney World. It's free to park and walk around and window shop. There are clubs and concert venues and theaters and lots of people. Seems mostly like a tourist and teen hangout.

I had met this particular HB from Ohio and we walked about and shared laughs. If making chicks laugh were the goal, I'd be on top of my game. Anyway, she was down here to see a guy friend and we eventually parted ways. But the socializing and connecting was fun.

I went into the Virgin Megastore and did a couple approaches in this high-energy state. Like, "Oh my god, I can't believe they have this CD! This is the best CD ever!" While picking up a lame CD and bugging the target about why she doesn't have it or hasn't heard of it or whatever.

After three of these approaches and no bites, I felt like a jack-ass. Decided to tone it down a bit.

This red-headed cutie comes in and I watch where she goes. She's looking for a particular artist and I can see a tattoo above her ass as she sways down the isle.

I walk up and stand next to her as she is picking up a CD. I pick up a different copy of the same CD and I look at it as if I am reading the track titles or something. She, of course, has noticed me in her proximity and sees that I picked up the same CD.

I turn to face her and say, "Hey, I just thought you were cute, so I wanted to see what CD you picked out. You know, like to see if we had musical taste in common. I'm GoneSavage." I extend my hand for the introduction. She has to switch the CD to her other hand to shake mine, smiles, and she tells me her name. Same name as the other chick I had just been hanging with. Interesting.

I say, "If you had picked out something really lame, I would probably just tease you. But this... this artist (Sarah Brightman) I have never heard of. Tell me about her."

So she tells me about how she has seen her so many times, how she saw the performance that was recorded in Vegas for the live CD, how I should give it a listen, etc. I say, "Cool, lets go find one of those listening stations and I'll check it out." And I take the CD and look for a station to scan it into and she follows me.

All the stations are occupied. I tell her to burn me a "super mega-mix" CD and she laughs and says OK. I ask her questions about where she works (actually in Disney World) and what she does and what she likes about it. One of her jobs is that she is a character -- Ariel, the Little Mermaid! She dresses as a mermaid and has her photo taken with visitors.
She tells me that she is obsessed with this character/movie. I ask if that is what her tattoo is of as well. She says yes.

(I'm thinking about anonymity in LR's. Like how we don't post the HB's names or details that would clue anyone into the specifics of the interaction. Hmm... I think I could leave out specific details, the story would be weak, and if she came across the community, she would still recognize a post about her. With that being said, I think I'll just email this to her. She can check it for accuracy.)

Anyway, she tells me that she is waiting for friends to meet her at the theater next door. I ask about the movie they are going to watch. A guy calls her to let her now he is there. Since her call was brief, and she now has her phone out, I just tell her to type in my number. She does. I tell her to call it. "Right now?"

"Sure, I need to make sure you typed it in right." My phone doesn't ring, and I say, "See..." And she suggests that it is because we are inside the store. We walk out, my phone rings, and I answer and chat (on the phone-while standing right next to her) like we are great friends. (Like, “Hey what’s up, where are you at?…”) She plays along.

She says, "There're my friends." It is a guy and a girl. She makes no move to introduce me.

HB: "So when are we going to hang out?"
GS: "How about tomorrow?"
HB: "Good, that's my day off!"
GS: "How about we meet around lunch time, I have plans later."
HB: "Well, I have to take my dog to the vet in the morning.
But I'll call you around 11:45."
GS: "OK. Nice to meet you. Enjoy your movie. We'll have fun tomorrow..."

(But you'll see that I wasn't congruent to anything above. I forgot she mentioned that she had a dog. I also gave up my night-game sarging to be with her. It was worth it.)

Day 2

She did not call at 11:45. BUT she DID call at 7:45PM. I didn't even bring it up. We had no solid plans so it wasn't like a flake. It was her idea to call me, whatever, no big deal either way. I wasn't needy or dependent on an outcome. Actually, I thought it was cool that she called at all. It's ON!

I'm just casual like, "Oh hey, good to hear from you, how was your day?"

I tell her that I am at this cool park. I walked the nature trail and saw alligators, tons of birds, and even an osprey swoop down and take a baby coot (its like a duck) off the water. (True.) So I am introducing themes of raw animalistic predation; kill or be killed. Hahaha… Maybe this is a DHV that would present me as observant, interested in nature, intelligent, etc etc. Then again, I was just relating my day.

But I also deliberately mentioned the ball fields and the like six games that were going on and all the people that were there. So she wouldn't think I was deliberately luring her to an isolated area.
I asked her if she had heard of the place. Nope. What's really interesting is that I tell her the road it is on and she's like, "I live off that road!" Quite a coincidence as this is a big city and this area is not that close to where she works. It’s ON!

Of course I tease her for living near this park and having never checked it out.

I invite her to come by and I remind her of all the people walking their dogs, etc. I ask her if she has a dog (silly of me because I did not remember her mentioning the vet visit—but she does not call me on it either) and I tell her to bring her dog along (I also then realized that I might have just complicated the logistics of closing.) But I wanted her to be comfortable to come here. She says okay. I look at this map I have (the reason I know about the park) and give her directions.

When she shows up, I'm reading a book. I wait until she is out of the car with the dog, etc, before I close the book and greet her.

I actually have to greet the dog first because it's yapping at me. It's a little Chihuahua. (Sorry hon, your dog is not as cute as I led you to believe.)

I give her a hug and I tell her about the sunset she just missed. How beautiful it was. And how it lit up the city's one skyscraper in the distance. How all sunsets are unique and she missed a really great one. Etc. etc.

I'm taking on this romantic frame, which some may find counterproductive to getting an ONS. But everything has been a "green light" so far and I still have to introduce the road trip and the fact that I am leaving in two days.

I lead her on a walk and we talk about her dog and the wildlife (maybe a DHV of intelligence, but it didn't really capture her attention).

She asks, "Do you always go up to random strangers and start talking to them?"

I said, "Yes...I mean you have to remember that every friend you now have was once a stranger. And because you opened up and allowed them inside, you found ways that they could enhance or enrich your life. I used to be fiercely independent, but I realized that to meet people that you really could connect with, you had to step outside the comfortable and take chances and just start talking. Don't you agree?"

She agreed. She asked about the book I was reading. I tell her it is about living in the moment and how the present moment is all we ever have. How we have to make NOW the focus of our lives. How we have to accept and embrace whatever is right in front of us.

And I tell her about the road trip and that I was unsatisfied with where I was at and that I wanted to see and be and do more. So I hit the road. She seemed interested. I told her how the van is just a practical and comfortable way to allow me to be wherever. I was generally pretty light on the C&F, but I did say, "Play your cards right, and maybe I'll give you a tour."

Then I said, "But I have to give you the trust test." (This is a small piece of TECH that I picked up on mASF lately.) If there is any objective truth to the trust test, she passed 100%. I said, wow perfect score I like that, and then I explained each step to her. Which meant we got to do it again.

So we just keep playing with the dog and talking and Defixon calls. (Sorry we couldn't hang and you were house-ridden. Hope nothing is terminal with your car!) I take the call, tell him that I am hanging with my "new best friend" (she laughs), that I am stealing her dog, and I remind him that I am leaving soon, like maybe the next day. Mostly to reinforce that point with this girl. So it was a bit of social proof and allowed me to prove congruence to the road trip story. Thanks bro.

So our walk was no more than an hour. I also teased her about her job and used that as callback humor. Like saying, "There you are in Fantasyland again.” Or when she called the lake/swamp/marsh a "mote" I was like, "Mote? Listen to you! You think you've got this fantastic castle surrounded by a mote and your own wizard who put a spell on Prince Charming for you!" She loved this stuff. Fun girl.

I also teased her about the Ariel "shrine" that she described her apartment as being. With all this merchandise and memorabilia from The Little Mermaid. I mean she came to Orlando and became “the little mermaid” because of this obsession she has had since childhood. (Seems odd, but look at the obsessions in the community.)

I asked her if her bed was in a big scallop shell and if there were pearls and treasure chests all around. This was funny and it led to talking about Fantasy Suites. Which are hotel chains in NV and CA where you can rent the Jungle Room and the Space Room and the Underwater Room and shit.

When we got back to the cars, I just said, "I have to see this Ariel Shrine; I just hope you don't have the soundtrack playing continuously." She says, "Ok, follow me..."

So, it's ON! I was intentionally holding off the kiss close. Relaxed and relished certainty. We connected some more at her house. She gave me the tour and I pilfered through the fridge and the cabinets. Concerning the obscene amount of mermaid stuff, I teased her on some items and complimented her on a couple. I got her to sing a song from the movie. ("I'll do something really sweet and affectionate if you sing for me.") I got some more value points (like I needed them—It’s ON!) by knowing of this performance she was part of in North Carolina call The Last Colony. ("No one ever knows what THAT is!") Another value point by suggesting that she go to Weeki Wachee Springs -- the last attraction with live underwater mermaid shows. ("Yes, I love that place!")

As we were sitting on the couch together, with her little dog, I told her to cover the dog's eyes. Why? I smiled and said, "Because the little fucker keeps looking at me. And I'm about to kiss you. This should be a private moment." Great kiss. Then I joked around about a threesome with this dog because it wouldn't leave us alone. Then I made out with the dog. Fun times.

Also, I started with the "hijacked my brain" campaign. Saying things like: "You make me feel strange inside." "Don't look at me like that, it’s turning me on. Stop." "I feel like you've put a spell on me."

GS: "You seem so real and genuine, what's your catch. What's your secret."
HB: "No secret. What's yours?"
GS: "I'm gay. I shouldn't be feeling this way for you."
GS: laugh and kiss

So, I'm trying to minimize the possibility of LMR as we are making out. She pushed my hand away from the golden zone once. I stopped myself more times than she stopped me. I almost took it too far. Really.

I said, "we should stop" and she pulled me up and toward the door! OK. I made two steps toward the door, turned, grabbed her, held her face, and kissed her again.

GS: "Do you believe in fairytale romance?"
HB: shakes head yes
GS: "Do you want that with me?"
HB: shakes head yes
GS: wall-slam-make-out-hand-down-pants-session

I led her to her bedroom, lit a candle, and put her in Fantasyland. Kept her there for hours.

Kept thinking about having sex with an actual mermaid. You know, like, how do you get to it when there are no legs to spread? Does she lie there like a fish out of water or flip around a lot? Does she smell like fish?

Love life.

The next day we got together and made dinner and I got to do laundry and take a shower. Ahhhhh…. I’m starting to think that, in my road-trip-reality, sex is just another shit-test that I have to pass to get cleaned and fed….

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

FR: Orlando: Night-Game ON-to-GONE

FR/FU: PUA Tour: Orlando: Night-Game ON-to-GONE.

The basic story is this: Every night for a week I have attracted a girl and got to a point where I really *thought* it was ON. Every night for a week, I lost them all for one reason or another. Each story is different, but there are some commonalities. But honestly, right now I’m pretty stumped as to why I am not getting further. Read on.

Some general observations:

*More often than not, I capture the attention of the very first girl I open. This usually isn’t the hottest girl in the place, but a solidly cute girl that I am very attracted too. My type of girl-- an energetic 8-8.5. I actually intend for it to be a warm up, but I do get really intrigued or fascinated, and the connection seems unmistakable, so I stick around.

*There’s issues with being able escalate or isolate, or maybe just realizing that I need to just contact close and eject. I can’t quite place what I am doing wrong, but this trend is annoying. Keep in mind that I am on a road trip (see earlier posts), and that sticking around town to follow up for second day meets is largely impractical. But not always. I need to develop a greater structure or fomula based on a variety of social contexts.

*If you are just scanning the post, SAT and MON represent the most challenging situations in which I lost the girl. Boo fucking hoo, right?

Went to a packed college club with Defixon (I’ll mention our meet and day-game PU in another post). The very first girl I talked to, I connected with, and stayed in set until closing (about one hour). I just rolled up and said. “What’s up? You look like someone I’d like to meet.” We chatted a bit and I shared stories with the rest of her group. We were basically 1:1 the whole night and it seemed like we bonded. Lots of kino (rubbing back, legs, as well as more playful punches and high fives, etc). We kissed and necked. I teased here and we shared laughs. I felt like the convo was never dull and I never lost her attention. She was sober the whole time. We set up plans to meet the next day. At one point she says, “Why me? Of all the girls in here, why did you come talk to me?” I said, “Well, I thought you were cute, but a pretty face here is truly a dime a dozen. After I talked to you, I believe you’re attractive other ways. I like your attitude and outlook on life.” She says, “Good answer.” She smiles. We laugh and continue talking and teasing each other. The place closes and her whole crew leaves together. I default to getting her number. Of course, when I call the next day about our plans, she’s “extremely busy.”

Went to a popular club in downtown Orlando. The very first girl I opened was part of a 2-set with my target being a very cute girl and her friend being not nearly as cute. I stood in the proximity of my target for about thirty seconds before a female bartender got atop the bar behind us and started dancing. I grab the target’s hand (this is the opener) and put it over my eyes and say “Shield me from this smut.” I’m peeking through her finger at the bartender and at her and I have a big smile. I then dropped her hand and turned away. She threw her very long gorgeous hair at me and it hit my face. I turned to here and saw her smiling and said, “You have to quit doing that.” She said, “You like it.” I said, “I know, that’s why you have to stop. It keeps turning me on.” Anyway, convo was underway and I teased this girl and her friend and had them guessing when they asked my name or age or whatever. Long story short, we hung out the rest of the night. We went to a different club together. We shared laughs and bonded. We kissed and made out and there was plenty of kino. I got the feeling it was ON when my girl kept talking about how we had to find a guy for here friend. Like she had become the third wheel. Anyway, this girl was shy and also overly picky about the guys around. I said, “Well, there’s enough of me for the both of you” with a grin. My girl says, “No, I want you all to myself!” and she grabs my dick. She’s dry-humping me in the club with her on-looking friend who won’t dance or talk to any guys. So I felt like the issue of not being able to escalate was this friend. BUT, after closing, my girl actually went kind of cold. I walked them to their car and they drove me to mine, but there was a strange discomfort with her suddenly.

Similar story. Similar club. One difference is that this was the third set I approached in the night instead of the very first. This girl was in a 4-set of girls, and was among the two hot ones of the group. I just say, “You girls look like fun, come talk to me.” Her other three friends seemed pretty cool with me and they never interrupted as we chatted and kissed and necked and held each other in the corner. I teased this girl more and probably presented myself as being more cocky than the previous days. But of course, at the end of the night, they pulled her away, and I went back to the van alone.


This one is MUCH MORE COMPLEX, if you have just been scanning the post, read this part. I’m flying solo and I go to this more upscale club that is not as loud. There is a lounge area with several people standing and two girls sitting together. I figure, it is a warm-up approach so I go right in the two set. BUT, again, I got attraction right off the first set that I interacted with. I actually rolled up with this casual confidence and said, “What’s up, do you mind if I join you?” They look at me like, whatever, free country. I jump in with Where are you from, what do you do, type stuff. The girl right beside me is a stunning brunette, solid 9. Her friend, farther away, is a cute blonde, about an 8. The blonde is more responsive to me and the brunette is remaining aloof. We talked about their passions and hobbies and my road trip. I tease the blonde for always asking me to repeat things and I have her guess answers to the questions she asks me. The blonde’s brother, who is a manager at the bar, sits down with us for awhile. Then he takes his sister off somewhere. I’m left with the brunette. We chat 1:1, I told her I had an intuition about her and said something like; “you probably base your important decisions on emotions and feelings rather than logic.” She laughed and said, “Now I have a fortune teller!” During the convo I also said that I admired her for having her life together career-wise (she does graphic layout and restaurant reviews for the city newspaper). Lots of teasing in there too. I rubbed her back a little and gave her some playful pushes, and I tried to number close her. She says, “I can’t” without giving a reason. When the blonde comes back, they both go to the bathroom. I figured I lost them but I just stayed sitting, and smiling. Well, they came back and they wanted to go to a different bar. It wasn’t a direct invitation, but I say, “I’ll come with you, but I probably come back here if it’s lame.” As we walk down the road, I begin playful kino and arm-in-arm walking with the blonde. The convo at the next place all revolved around me and what I was up to and how they couldn’t get a read on me and how they though I was a player. I did some value elicitation with the blonde and she was telling me about how she was tired of playing games and what she would look for in a man. I said things like, “You want someone who is in control of his life, but doesn’t try to be controlling of yours” and “You want someone who is affectionate without being overbearing.” She would say “Exactly!” We had triangular gazing going on and the kino was a little more intimate than before. The brunette was watching and listening and she brings up her BF and how she has a great guy already. The blonde validates that he is a great guy. I turn to the brunette and say, “That’s awesome. It sounds like you’ve already found what everyone is looking for. You’ve met a man that does more than fill a role, but an incredible person who fulfills needs that come from deep within you. Hang onto this.” There may have been a couple more lines, but she basically says, “Look. I think you are cute. If I were single, I would want to get to know you. I like flirting with you even though I am with someone.” I looked her in the eyes and said, “Cool. Thanks for being so open and direct, that’s rare. And what you said is flattering, you make me feel like I’m the shit!” Then I turned my attention back to the blonde. Anyway…we headed back to the first bar and the blonde is clearly into me. The brunette literally pulls her off of me and says to her, “It’s not right. I have an impulse.” I’m like, WTF and I fall like four steps behind. Like, what should I do? I catch up with them, but I am ignored. I follow them in and the blonde goes to find her brother, the manager, and I ask the brunette, with a smile, “Why would you try to turn your friend against me?” Well, with that characteristic bluntness that I like, she says, “Look, I told you that I like you and I can’t give you my number and I have a BF, and I’m not going to sit here and watch you flirt with my friend in front of me. This is our night and she is mine tonight and you have to go.” I’m like, “Cool. I understand. Listen, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way. Why don’t you write down my email and maybe you’ll decide to write me.” She writes it down and also takes out a camera and I get someone to take our picture, then I proceed to eject. The blonde comes back and I decide to exit her first. She actually like, “Why do you have to go? Where are you going?” I get her to kiss my cheeks. And I tell her, “thank you for being so real and genuine.” I turn toward the brunet and say, “thank you for being so open and direct and honest.” (or something like that). I did the cheek kiss and then stopped her in the middle to plant one on her lips. To my surprise, she opened up and we shared a passionate tongue-down right in front of the blonde. This is a post about fuck-ups, and I really don’t know how I could have stayed in this set even after such a green light! Clearly I fucked-up earlier! So I held her face and said “email me” and I was off. I had an empowered state for the rest of the night, opened about 6 more girls/sets, but to no positive outcome.

Hung out with Defixon (ASF member) all day. We chilled at a lame pool party, hung out with two party girls as they dressed and got ready for hours, and then went to a house party, and finally a club. I think we were both bored out of our minds, but he had this girl all over him. I was talking to the various friends that kept stopping by. I struck up a conversation with one girl that came by the girls’ house that we had been at. I actually rode together with this girl to the party and I was joking about lets go somewhere else…let’s drive to California. How much gas do you have. Shit like that. Otherwise just talking and bonding. She definitely was the bright one of this party-girl bunch. No boyfriend either. Anyway, it turns out, that after we left the club (she did not go), this girl asked her friend (Defixon’s girl) to invite me over to her place. It was like 2:30 in the morning and I fuck up a direct invite from a chick to come to her house! You are not going to believe how I fuck this one up, I don’t even KNOW. But it sucks. She’s in bed with the TV on. I come over and rub and touch her starting with her hands and arms and move to her legs and chest. She actually rubs my arm and runs her fingers through my hair too. I try to kiss her, but she turns every time. She’s actually counting. She says, “Strike 3” “Strike 4” and shit like that. I keep counting myself as I kiss and bite her. I try to be gentle and slow. I try to be playful. I try to be more aggressive. I keep getting stopped. I try to freeze her out. She never starts back herself. I try to start back a few times and throughout she’s saying things like….”You’re not my type,” “I’m uncomfortable with you,” “I win,” “You’re not going to seduce me.” I counter everything with a clever remark and try to resume playfulness or intimacy. No go. Of course she never did articulate or explain anything. Just that she got a weird “vibe” from me and she did say that I should not attempt to be aggressive with anyone. Ok, cool. I decide it’s not worth it anyway and there’s no chemistry and I leave. Really strange for me though, particularly because this was on her invite. I told her that perhaps one day she would open up and let someone see what makes her uniquely her and she might be surprised how her life would be enriched or enhanced. She says, “I know when to let the right people in.” And I was out the door.

I’m working on this. I’ve got sticking points and apparently “vibe” issues and I feel like I’m going to continue getting the same let-downs if I don’t realize some direction to take my game. I’m learning and I appreciate these experiences and this community. This frustration of *almost* getting it is worse than being shot down or cold-shouldered during an approach. Getting there.