Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Radicalism of Mailer

1. Sexual vanity probably has an inverse proportion to sexual sophistication. When we're young, we have to believe we're the greatest gift given to women because if we didn't, we would know how truly bad we are. When I was a kid, I remember I had an older cousin who was immensely successful with women. And I was always obsessed with performance. He used to say to me, 'You're wrong on that; performance has nothing to do with it.' I never knew what he meant. It took years -- he was considerably older than me -- to come to understand what he was talking about. Performance is empty sex. Performance is push-ups. I mean, we've all had the experience of making love for hours, and getting that airless, tight, exhausted feeling, you know, my God, will she ever come? For God's sake, please, God, please, let her come! I have a bad back today and one of the reasons is that I worked so hard when I was younger.

2. The connection of female sexuality with cats is not for too little. You cannot dominate a cat with your will. If you do, the cat goes right around you. Sexuality is the same way: Can't dominate it. So over the years, as you come to recognize this, you begin to approach it from the side, so to speak.

3. Pictures of men and women making love is not going to hurt people as much as it's going to help them. It gives them -- and I would include pornographic movies -- an education in that part of sex which is universal, as opposed to that part that is particular. Those tragedies of high school kids who get married too young, only to discover three, five, eight years later, with a couple of children between them, that they weren't meant for one another at all -- and so split -- come about because sex is so compelling when they're young and they know so little about it. That's a profound error we've all made one way or another. We mistake the beauties of sex for all the beauties of the particular person that we're with, that is, think the particular person beautiful because of the sexual feelings they arouse in us. We don't understand those feelings are more or less universal, and could be felt with someone else. The faculty of choice is not present.

4. My sexuality, I expect, is aroused by knowledge. The moment I know more than before, I'm excited. Those gritty Poloroid shots in Hustler are often more interesting. They communicate. You know, the picture of some waitress in Sioux Falls. I know more at that moment about Sioux Falls, about waitresses -- even if they're lying, even if she isn't a waitress, there's something about the very manifest of the lie that is fascinating. It arouses curiosity. Whereas superb pictures of models can get boring. There tends to be a sameness in them. Aren't enough flaws present. The very question of the sordid is tricky.

5. As you get older, you need fantasy less and less. Let me put it this way: Fantasy gives resonance to sex so long as it's on the threshold of reality. If two people make love and play a little game, and pretend they're other people, well, that's perfectly all right. Finally they have to do the acting job. It's not just fantasy. But if a man and a woman are making love, and the man secretly thinks that he's fucking the Countess Eloise of Bulgaria, and the woman is visualizing a stud from Harlem for herself, then they're in trouble whether they know it or not. Essentially they are masturbating.

6. The innermost parts of the female body exposed, that gets me hot. A fine pair of breast, a beautiful ass. Hands can get me, not hot, but started. I mean, some women have beautiful hands. It's really not important. To find a woman attractive there has to be some one feature that truly keeps pulling you back. It could be her face, her hands, it could be her toes -- you don't have to be a shrimper to love a woman's feet, because it isn't literally the feet that turn you on. A certain statement about the private nature of that woman's sexuality is in the part of the body that excites you.

7. I will make one general observation: It's very dangerous to stick it up a woman's ass. It tends to make them more promiscuous.... A woman doesn't want it up the ass because she's doing her best to be faithful to that dull pup she's got for a man, and she knows if it blasts into the center of her stubbornness, that's the end of it. She won't be able to hold her fidelity any longer.

8. People with conventional lives very often are tremendously drawn to orgiastic sex. That's their artistic expression. That's the way in which they are fighting society.... I mean, Saturday night they have a ball with their friends, who either live next door in the next ranch house, or they drive 300 miles to see some other swinging couple. On Sunday they all go to church together. And they're giggling a little. They're living two lives at once. They were having that ball last night, the four of them, now they're in church together. And nobody's going to know. Some people can only feel a sense of balance and satisfaction, happiness, I might say, if they're living two lives at once. Orgiastic life provides that. Orgiastic life provides a lot of solutions for people.

9. It's my general experience that if you don't feel jealousy at all, a woman will have profound doubt of your love. A little jealousy is marvelously aphrodesical, you know that, but real jealousy, when it takes over, is delusional, and has all the dirty pleasures of delusion. Delusion is one the of the most profound forms of mental activity. If we have a delusion, we are, in effect, a detective on the scent of a case, picking up clues all over the place.

10. Love asks that we be a little braver than is comfortable for us, a little more generous, a little more flexible. It means living on the edge more than we care to. Love is always in danger of being the most painful single emotion we can ever feel, other than perhaps a sudden knowledge of our own death. La Rochefoucauld has that wonderful remark that half the people in the world would never have fallen in love if they had not heard of the word. I think that most people I know, maybe three-quarters of the people I know, have never been deeply in love.

11. It isn't that love is blind. Love has intense, laser-like tunnel vision, you know, which probably would be a closer way of describing the nature of how love sees.

Norman Mailer

Friday, August 21, 2009

Wild Nights

"You know what I mean by sex, don't you? The whole damn thing. It's not just pussy and cock. It's homes and children and security and comfort. It's jealousy and loneliness and hope. It's time itself. Everyone wants to get laid. Really laid. Some seek it through making money, or having a family, or achieving power or fame. But it's fuck they want. Fuck. To be smithereened in bliss, opened beyond all limits, loved absolutely, to give themselves completely - to infinity. Fuck."

"When you fuck a woman, you want to breathe the light down and fill her. It's a rhythmic thing, the pulse of the universe. Bam, bam, bam, radiating out from the center, nobody in the way, the Great One radiating out as fuck, shining as all things, alive as love. Women know this, intuitively. Women know in their bodies that God is fuck, but few get the chance to really open, you know. So they settle for babies and a nice house."

"It's just that every woman is the universe. Every woman is She, and so she waits for He, and he never quite gets there. He never quite makes it to that second notch, where fuck becomes more than sex, where it becomes the pulse of God, and the woman knows who she is because the man knows who she is and fucks her as she is. Breathe the Great One down into you and fuck her open as you both open without end, hitting that second notch over and over, which isn't a physical place in her pussy so much as it is the place in her heart that is unseparate from you."

"A woman's energy sometimes seems chaotic, but she is only waiting to be known, recognized for who she is. She intuits that your recognition of her is somehow necessary for her recognition of herself. She needs to be seen to know herself, because she is light, she is all, and when she is seen fully, when you really see her as she is, then she dies in bliss."

David Deida

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A of S: Calculated Surprise

Just finished up a joint lair talk with Gamer in Austin on Thursday, and a lair talk in Dallas on Friday followed by a Saturday night in-field bootcamp. Multiple students asked about The Art of Seduction. Often, I wish guys would just read this book - come up with their own ideas to experiment with - and not get sucked into the seduction of the community. It would be a challenge, no doubt, but well worth the effort. The way I would suggest reading the book is to skip the historic anecdotes and all the supplemental material in the margins. Just read the Interpretation, the Keys to the Seduction, and the Reversal. Plus, I've decided to post up some of the most radical and relevant passages:

Page 248

"People are bored, not only with their own lives but with people who are meant to keep them from being bored. The minute they feel they can predict your next step, they will eat you alive.... Always keep a surprise up your sleeve. To keep the public's attention, keep them guessing. Let the moralists accuse you of insincerity, of having no core or center. They are actually jealous of the freedom and playfulness you reveal in your public persona.

Finally, you might think it wiser to present yourself as someone reliable, not given to caprice. If so, you are in fact merely timid. It takes courage and effort to mount a seduction. Reliability is fine for drawing people in, but stay reliable and you stay a bore. Dogs are reliable, a seducer is not. If, on the other hand, you prefer to improvise, imagining that any kind of planning or calculation is antithetical to the spirit of surprise, you are making a grave mistake. Constant improvisation means you are lazy, thinking only about yourself. What often seduces a person is the feeling that you have expanded effort on their behalf. You do not need to trumpet this too loudly, but make it clear in the gifts you make, the little journeys you plan, the little teases you lure people with. Little efforts like these will be more than amply rewarded by the conquest of the heart and willpower of the seduced."

First, I'm of the Zanism that "Women are to be celebrated, not conquered."

But I love this idea:

Reliability = timidity
Constant improvisation = laziness + selfishness

Calculation + surprise = leading with suspense

"...the irresistible lure of being led by another person..."

"...suddenly surprise them with some bold or poetic or naughty action."

"It is the pleasure a woman has in being led by a confident dancer, letting go of any defensiveness she may feel and letting another person do the work."

"...surprise creates a moment when people's defenses come down and new emotions can rush in."

Robert Greene

Monday, August 10, 2009

Women Think of One Thing Only...

I'm curious as to what your experiences have been like meeting guys online... It seems every woman has her horror stories.

I talked to this one woman who said she'd hooked up with three guys online... the first was an aggressive asshole.

The second was a passive coward who walked out on her after the first little argument.

And the third, well, he was absolutely horrible in bed.

So, after three bad experiences, she was ready to give up. But she decided to take a chance with a guy she would not normally go for.

It was a man in a wheel chair. They chatted on the phone and had this instantaneous connection. They both knew that hooking up was inevitable.

So they decided to go with this feeling and meet that night.

She invited him over, and before long she heard the doorbell ring. She answered, and there on the front porch was this man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.

The man reminded her of the three prior lovers and said "As you can see, I have no arms so I will never hit you, and I have no legs so I will never walk away when times are tough."

The woman replied, "Yeah yeah, but are you good in bed?"

And the man said with a smirk, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

Haha. Can you believe that? Nothing to worry about except some long hard cock!

Women are so sex-obsessed!


Saturday, August 08, 2009

Taming the Dragon

Once upon a time, a beautiful princess was captured by a fire-breathing dragon and imprisoned at the top of a castle tower. Knights came from far and wide to try and rescue her, but one by one the dragon that guarded the bottom of the castle turned them to toast.

But then, a knight who was more savvy and more savage than the rest - who knew a thing or two about dragons - appeared. Armed with his sword and shield, he conquered the dragon and rescued the princess - who joined him on the back of the dragon - and they all flew off to the Bahamas.

This story is ripe with metaphors. The shield represents wisdom. The sword represents will.

The dragon represents sexual tension. Note that the knight conquered the dragon - he did not kill it. We mustn't kill the dragon because we need it. For relationships to thrive, sexual tension must be harnessed, not suppressed.

Now, for anyone who thinks I am placing undue importance on the subject of sex, I will state the case unequivocolly: There is nothing more important and nothing more powerful. Sex is the glue that holds relationships together. Sex is the only force capable of awakening a relationship's or a person's potential.

A man who is comfortable with his own sexuality, understands a woman’s sexuality, and has no problem talking openly and candidly about sex is a very attractive man. This is the guy that deeply arouses a woman and enjoys the passionate nuances of unselfish sex.

Discussing sex is healthy. Arguing against repression is not a promotion of promiscuity.

The PUA seeks women as a hunter looks for prey. His motivation is hunger. He is a taker and his sex is selfish. Of course, like attracts like, and the women he hooks up with are equally selfish. They are little more than empty vessels receiving his eager energy and attention.

Every step in the direction of promiscuity makes a further step in that direction more likely. The PUA develops a pattern that weakens his vitality and destroys his creative capacity. He has become enslaved by his desires. He wastes opportunity to fulfil higher purposes.

Masculinity is a magnificent instrument with limitless strings, are you content to pluck away at the bottom one over and over again?


Friday, August 07, 2009

To Have Fun, Be Fun!

Let's face it. Women today are frustrated. In these high-tech times, few women can get through the day without encountering some form of frustration.

Here's the thing. As my recent informal survey reveals, the source of this frustration is increasingly a result of romantic relationships with MEN!

Consider this:

45 out of 50 women report that their men always were white socks - even with black shoes!

48 out of 50 report regularly having to put the toilet seat down.

A full 50 out of 50 women have been preempted by a televised sporting event!

Then when I found out that American women spend $500 million a year buying vibrators, I knew something had to be done. I knew I had to put myself out there. I am going to do my part to put these 'toys' out of service!

Here is my promise:

I will never put you in a car and say, "so where do you want to go?" I like to remain a bit unpredictable, but I guarantee fun. You can just sit back and trust my lead.

I will never flirt with your sister, flirt with your mother, criticize your friends, or ignore you in public. When I am with you, I give you my full attention (because I like the same).

I will never claim ignorance in bedmaking, lovemaking, ironing, cleaning or cooking. Around here, I do the cooking (and usually the dishes).

I will not buy tickets to MY favorite concert or sporting event for YOUR birthday.

I will not ask for a backrub and never offer one.

I will kiss you right and kiss you often.


Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Butterfly Metaphor

I'll give you my take on relationships...

Your presence in my life is like that of a butterfly landing on my hand. I delight in you. I appreciate what makes you special.

I may curl my hand up a bit to protect you from the wind and let you relax.

I admire all that makes you fascinating for as long as you want to stay. I will never insist that you have to leave.

But, at the same time, you will always be free to fly away.

I will not close my hands around you, restrict your movement, and keep you close at all costs.

You are not my possession. If you decide that you will be happier somewhere else, I always will allow that freedom.

I may very much want you to stay. But if you go, I understand.

Either way, you have my highest respect.

I’ll miss you when you go. And you’ll always have a fan out there, me. :-D

a paraphrase of classic Zan Perrion

Pleasure & Leisure

It's okay to have a good time!
Pleasure is on the brink of extinction!
Let's eat cake, drink wine, and lay in a hammock and stare at the stars!
Excess may be bad, but self-deprivation is just stupid!
A life lived without pleasure, beauty, and leisure is a sad and wasted life!
"Mingle and Tingle" Pool Party at Caligula's place!
Hypocrisy and denial makes hedonism more trilling than ever!
Let's drink, make love, and laugh the day away!
I am bold and unapologetic in my quest for satisfaction!
Embracing pleasure is not selfish, it is the height of selflessness!
Share happiness and intoxicating joy with those around you!
Energy is a valuable commodity, use it to cultivate happiness and pleasure!
A silly dream is better than no dream at all!

Underrated pleasures:

thoughtful conversation
meaningful reflection
spontaneous laughter
hour long lunches
afternoon siestas
floating in water
making out in the rain
sleeping in
afternoon cocktails
dirty dancing
reading in a hammock
candlelit baths for two
playing on the swings
flirting shamelessly
watching the stars
sitting by a campfire
sinking into a hot tub
extended foreplay
sensual massage
travel by train
communing with nature
artistic expression
a cozy bed
true love
hot sex
unbridled affection

Inspired by Michael Flocker

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Signs You're In Too Deep

1. You can't look at a woman without rating her on a 1-10 scale.

2. Most of your "friends" have online aliases and you only hang out "in field."

3. You have more gigabytes of bootlegged pick-up products than personal photos and music combined.

4. You discount people in thriving relationships because they did not begin as "pure cold approach night game."

5. You are obsessed with things like value, compliance, calibration, qualification, isolation, escalation, and social proof.

6. You'll spend thousands of dollars on workshops and bootcamps, but won't buy a girl a drink.

7. Your only hobbies are seeking the attention of women and seeking the approval of an anonymous online community of guys.

8. You are unable to stay at home on a Saturday night without thinking of all the "sets" you should be "opening."

9. You buy New Rock boots to match your feather boa.

10. Your conversations regularly revolve around the lives of PUAs and other Internet marketers, rather than your own life.

11. You do pretty accurate impressions of multiple PUAs to impress other community guys.

12. If you do get a woman in bed, you're thinking more about writing the "lay report" rather than actually connecting with the unique woman that you're penetrating.