Drugs: A great topic to discuss early on with your potential paramours. I have no problem point-blank asking women what drugs they take, either of the illegal sort or the over-prescribed sort. At a recent workshop, a student of mine asked "Won't that sort of question weird a girl out?"
First of all, if you're trying so-hard to ensure that she's comfortable, then you are woefully missing the point of masculine directive. Second, anything you ask coming from a place of genuine curiosity will almost always be answered without resistance. If not, then you just screened an emotionally insulated individual out of your reality. Third, even if you are not
screening against drug use, it is still an important aspect of mutual understanding
, worthy of bringing right out in the open.
For the record, I don't do any drugs - not even vitamins. When I was on Path 2 - the pursuit of casual sex - I would bring up this topic, not to screen women, but basically to get a snapshot of who I was dealing with. "If she's crazy in the head, she's crazy in bed" is absolutely true in my experience. If you're down for a single night of wild sex, or a short term fling, there is no point screening out a girl just because she does drugs. Remember that the key to Path 2 is providing a sense of non-judgement. This does not mean non-disclosure. Foreplay begins with conversation
. The more taboo topics you can bring up, and accept without judgement, the more trust she will have for you as a sex partner.
But this article is about Path 1. Wild and loud sex does not necessarily mean good sex. There is a huge difference between a deeply emotive sexual connection and mutually scratching a basic biological itch. In seeking a committed relationship
, I'm looking for a true sexual connection that permits longevity and continuity.
Finding a woman that is drug free is essential to this vision.
Using the research of John Young, I'm going to talk about the two most prevalent types of drugs and how they affect a woman's sexual drives and desires. (All studies are cited at his website
According to Scientific American, "one in three doctor’s office visits by women involved the prescription
of an antidepressant
, either for the writing of a new prescription
or for the maintenance of an existing one, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."
One third of women in the US are on some form of antidepressant
. 60% of women on antidepressants report
noticeable decline in sex drive or other sexual dysfunction. In fact, the same drugs are prescribed to sex offenders for the explicit reason of decreasing their sex drive!
Young reminds us: "With a few exceptions for various organic brain problems; most people are on anti-depressants because that's what insurance companies push as a quick-fix; not because of some sort of genetically-inspired imbalance of neurotransmitters
. It's simply cheaper to put a depressed woman on a psychoactive
drug than to pay for therapy to figure out why she is depressed and fix it."
The pills are just a cover up. They mask the symptoms and don't even begin to tackle the core issue that is making her depressed. And as already stated, they kill her sex drive. I'm going to take this on a case-by-case basis, but this is certainly a compelling reason to screen against
women on antidepressants
Hormonal Birth Control
This one is even more insidious. Hormonal birth control (such as The Pill) work by hijacking a woman's natural reproductive
cycle. High concentrations
of steroid hormones (estrogen and progesterone
) are taken to prevent ovulation. This is an extreme hormonal fluctuation that completely recreates her 'chemistry.'
As if the common side effects of acne and weight gain were not enough, there is now evidence that The Pill may affect what male body odors (pheromones) a woman prefers, which can influence her selection of partners.
How does this relate to Path 1 relationships
? Simple. When she comes off The Pill because you've together decide to procreate, and her body chemistry returns to normal, she may actually find that she is no longer attracted to you
. Suddenly she's not drawn to your scent.
A study by Craig Roberts at the University of Liverpool also suggests that women on The Pill are far more likely to cheat on their partners because of the reduced anxiety of pregnancy.
Most importantly, no one is telling women that sabotaging their reproductive
cycles can lead to poor mate choices. As a man, I want to know the woman I've selected has also selected me without being under the influence of hormonal hijacking. Again, this will be a case-by-case scenario for me, but I am compelled to screen against
women on hormonal birth control.
I should also mention that while I'm basically looking for 'the one,' I am not looking to make a baby immediately. That said, I have no real desire to ejaculate inside of a woman until we are clear in our intent for creational
sex. Save something for the honeymoon, right? Maybe I am just a bit jaded from being on Path 2 for so long, that STD risks aside, I would be a little concerned that hormonal birth control would fail (from either accidental or conscious misuse by the woman.)
Until the woman is right, and the time is right, I prefer to be responsible by providing my own birth control that we call the barrier method, AKA condoms.
But back to the core issue of this post: A drug-free woman is just that. She is not under the influence of any mind-altering or body-chemistry-altering substances including antidepressants
and hormonal birth control.
If you think about it, what I am really screening for is a woman who freely, joyfully, and entirely of her own volition, makes informed choices.GoneSavage