Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Sexual Reflexology Test

Sexual Reflexology
aka Facial Physiognomy

“Stop…I only got a glance and I have to have a better look.”

“You know, men are constantly appraising women. Most will try to hide it and do it slyly, especially if they are with another woman. I’d just rather let you know that I am checking you out. Appreciating your beauty. But, to really catalogue you mentally I need the three views….front…profile…and backside.”

I say this while I am spinning her with my hand or I tell her to turn around. I look her up and down with a smirk.

“Nice. Let me get a good look at your face…I’m trying to determine if we’d be compatible…”

Look at her and really study her and try to determine precisely what you find attractive about her. Gently touch her chin to move her face and look at her profile. Smile and let her know that you are really studying her physically. (I will also say, “Give me a broad smile. Now give me a toothy smile. Let me see your teeth.”) Then say:

“Have you ever heard of reflexology? Well, the Taoists believe that our facial features reflect other aspects of our nature and character. What do you like better, what’s a better feature—your eyes or your lips?”

Give a statement of agreement/approval and respond to her answer with this information:

“It is said that when a woman wins her lover’s affection with her eyes, it is an intellectual affair. When she wins her lovers affection with her lips, it is a passionate affair...”


You’ve heard that the eyes are the window to the soul. Well, your dark pupils and big bright eyes let me know that you love life, action, and passion. You are a passionate woman and you love novelty, new experiences, and meeting new people. Have you ever heard of eye gazing? Well, it’s a profound experience, perhaps I will teach it to you someday…


You know, the Taoists believe that the upper lip relates to the nature of giving pleasure and the lower lip relates to receiving pleasure.

A larger upper lip lets me know that you are a giving person.

A larger lower lip lets me know that you like receiving affection more than giving.

Note— The mouth and the genitals are at opposite poles of the body. One is a reflection of the other. When a person talks incessantly, this indicates a sexual frustration. This energy is being channeled through conversation instead of sexual expression.

Question 2: “What do you like better about yourself, your ears or your nose?”

“Haha. I know it’s not something you really think about. But I encourage you to really get to know all parts of your body.

Move her hair to look at her ear.

“However, I think I like your x better.”

You have very meaty and thick ears, this indicates a warm personality and good sexual potential.

You have a nice symmetrical nose, this indicates a warm personality and good sexual potential.

“One more thing. I have to touch your hair.”

Hair—an abundance of hair is a sign of strong sexuality and ample sexual energy
For men—it is an abundance of body and facial hair.

Touch and smell her hair. Then do Touch Test Level 1.


Monday, December 19, 2005

The Touch Test (Level 1)

Never underestimate the power of touch. Your fingertips are lethal lust weapons.

I use two touch tests. Level One has been used extensively to great result. I created it much longer ago and it is also used more frequently because it’s not nearly as intrusive as Level Two. Level One is designed to increase attraction through light kinesthetics and get her used to your touch. It sends an attraction signal with the slight confusion of arbitrary screening or even mock research. Level Two is designed to create arousal and anticipation and is used after she has given you sexual signs that she is ready to be teased and tormented. Level One involves the question “What feels better, x or y?” and Part Two uses the question “How good does this feel, on a scale of 1 to 10?” Level One concentrates on these safe zones: her arm, her hand, and her back. Part Two ventures into highly erogenous zones and R-rated areas: her neck, her breasts, and her hips/ass.

Touch Test Part 1

“Hey, check this out. I want to see how responsive you are to touch. Its weird, but we all have these preferences. What feels better, this…or this?”

1) Lightly skim your finger across her lower back (or upper back) in a counterclockwise spiral. Pause, and then run your fingers in a clockwise spiral.

2) Face her. Tell her to keep eye contact. With the palm of your left hand, begin at her shoulder and gently follow the outside of her upper arm and lower arm to her wrist. Then do the same with your right hand on her right arm.

3) “Okay, one more. Give me your hand. Which feels better, this…or this?” Trace angular movements (like a star) with your index finger on the palm of her hand. Then trace circular or spiral movements.

Note—The order is arbitrary. I like the order presented because it leaves me with her hand in mine. Then I run the Finger Length Test or another hand-touch routine.

Note—Her answers are arbitrary. (As far as I am concerned.) You may want to have follow-up responses. I have used some that are remarkably obvious, but this one is really not a speaking exercise for me.

“Oh, clockwise, you must have been born in the northern hemisphere.”
“Oh, left, of course, because you must be right handed.”
“Oh, curves over angles, I bet you also feel a warm sensation right here in the palm of your hand…”

Generally, I usually just smile and nod my head at her response like I am quietly evaluating her.

Note—You’ll be surprised how often women choose one over the other. Sometimes you get “they both feel good” or “they feel the same,” and I just say, “Just choose one. Which one just made you tingle more?” It’s all great fun.

Touching, isn’t it?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Finger Length Test

Finger Length Test

aka Digit Ratio Analysis

“Hey, let me see your hand...not that one, the clean one.”
“Just kidding, give me the one you write with.”

Take her hand and look at the palm side. Bend her wrist back a bit to really stretch out the fingers. Look at the tips of the index and ring fingers.

“Uh-oh. You’re trouble.” Drop hand or smile and gently give it back to her.

She’ll demonstrate her piqued curiosity, and you can riff something out of the following…

“I’m comparing the length of your ring finger and your index finger. Check it out, see your x finger is slightly longer, and that lets me know….”

(insert whatever cold/warm read)

Having a longer ring finger means that you have a tendency to be aggressive and assertive. When you see something you want, you really go for it, no matter what other people may say. It’s an indicator of your physical desires…you probably have no hang-ups about sex and you’re not afraid to experiment.

Note—Having a longer ring finger is dominant in lesbians. “So…what kind of girls do you like?”

Having a longer index finger means that you have a tendency to have very deep emotions that you sometimes have trouble expressing. You’re also very sensitive and compassionate to the needs of others. You really need to bond and connect and gain a man’s trust before getting physical.

If they appear even, talk about how she is able to balance the emotional and physical aspects of her life.

The theory is this: Having a longer ring finger means that you were exposed to more testosterone in the womb. So you’ll exhibit more ‘masculine’ traits.

It is also quite fun to do with groups. Get everyone looking at their fingers at the same time. The girl with the longest ring finger is about to be ragged as a slut by her friends.

Note—It’s the same for guys. Except, a longer ring finger is the norm, whereas women typically will have longer index fingers. An abnormally long index finger probably means you are a fag. Haha.

Great lead in to Mound of Venus, Hand Massage, Palmistry, How Well Do You Know Your Body? or what I call the Touch Test (Level 1).

Pull my finger,

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Laugh Therapy

Laugh Therapy

I read this article once about a ‘joyologist’ that helps people laugh. I stole her technique and bits of the article and have had fun with it quite a few times. Only recently have I realized that this is a fun way for me to answer the ‘what do you do’ question and playfully number close at the same time.

HB: So, what do you do?

GS: I’m an angel—one more good deed… and I get my wings. (wink)

HB: No seriously, what do you do?

GS: I’m a sexual superhero. I bring incredible pleasure to damsels in distress. (wink)

HB: Yeah right, no really, what do you do?

GS: Alright, alright. I’ll tell you what I do. But you have to promise not to laugh.

HB(s): We promise.
GS: I’m a laugh therapist—A laugh instructor.

Hey, I told you not to laugh!

Yeah, I teach laughing workshops. Did you know that in 1950 we laughed an average of 13 minutes a day? But today we laugh only about 6 minutes, when you add it all up. Is life really that much harder today? Or are we just not having as much fun as we should?

What joyologists have discovered is that laughing is actually very good for us—it releases all these amazing chemicals in our bodies that just make us happy—that make us healthy. Like mini orgasms.

What’s best of all, physiologically, the feel-good effect is the same whether you are genuinely laughing or if you fake the laugh. So I started holding laughing workshops to teach people to laugh just for the sake of laughing, for the health benefits. I mean, life is just one big cosmic joke when you think about it, right?

So I teach special laughing techniques to help you feel comfortable laughing at yourself… And by yourself.

(wait for comment)

Here, I’ll show you one. You have a cell phone? Hand it to me. You like to laugh right? Okay, so you’re feeling in need of a good laugh. But you just can’t laugh by yourself in public… That’s not socially acceptable. You’ll look likea total nut case. So this is what you do. You take out your phone and just pretend like you are talking to someone. . .

(demo….fake humorous convo and laugh into phone)

“Hey Tony…yeah, I’m here in Vegas with these bratty little girls... Yeah, they’re being really flirty, really forward…this one keeps looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger….I know, I know, I might, but I don’t think she’s very, you know, sensual. Hahahahahaha. That’s a good one man! Anyway, I’ll talk to you later… I have to figure out what to do with these girls that keep hitting on me…”

Just like that, and it feels great to laugh. Let me show you something else.

(put # in phone and call it)

Now, you’ll actually have someone to call and share your laughter with. Just don’t abuse the privilege. If you call me six times a day, I’ll start laughing AT you instead of WITH you. Haha. Here, leave me a fun voicemail so I’ll remember you.

(hand her the phone)

Then I might talk about how laughter is our body’s recognition and celebration of the present moment, or I change the subject:

--Yeah, I teach Kiss Therapy too. But that one will cost you.

--I like your sense of humor, you get a point for that, but are you sensual?

Love life, love laughter.


Monday, December 12, 2005


Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: They try to have more things, more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first BE who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to HAVE what you want.

Become aware that you already posses all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true. Don’t come to the flawed conclusion that happiness and fulfillment come only from external events. Don’t rely on circumstances outside of yourself for forward or backward momentum. You are the catalyst for your own change.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Ground Control to Lost Soul...

I was in Montreal from July 12th thru August 11th. Not all of my sexcapades were made public. I had not yet found the time to even write all the experience up as LRs (“Lay Reports”). When I left Canada, I was set to spend five day in New England as a tourist and then drive one week across the country to attend the Burning Man Arts Festival in Nevada. Friday, August 19th, I hit Chicago for the weekend. Saturday, after a rainy and utterly uneventful night, I lost my computer....

I charge my computer from an inverter that is powered from the car battery. Had been doing this for months (and I still am) with no problems. That night I went to sleep and left the computer charging. I had been parked in the same place for two days, without moving, and I had actually already charged the computer a couple times that weekend. Little did I know, I was actually draining the car battery. Not to worry, if the juice gets low, the inverter makes a loud beeping noise. I can shut it off before the battery power is critical. Well, that night, I heard the noise and it woke me up. I pulled the inverter. I looked at the computer and realized that it had been ON the whole time. Normally, of course, I charge it while it is OFF. Flipped open the monitor and saw a black screen with a white cursor. Stuck. I popped the battery out and went to sleep.

The next day, the car wouldn’t start. The battery was dead. The next day, the computer would start, but I couldn’t get past this black screen. I had it diagnosed and the hard drive was declared completely fried. To make a long story short, each machine killed the other. The computer drained the car battery, but the car surged and killed the computer.

So I lost every file, thousands of photos, and countless writings and documents. The reason I bought a pro camera, as well as, the primary reason for the laptop, was to store and share the photos from my experiences. Now the recorded memories of four months of adventure and travel had vanished. Very few people were ever aware of my extensive (and expensive) photographic pursuits. (The trip was more about building a portfolio as an adventure photographer than picking up women.)

In the end, I think it’s strange this attachment we have to things virtual. It’s weird to cope with an almost intangible ‘digital’ loss when the costs of the tour have been so palpable. With nothing to show in the end. Anyway, I know I am bellyaching. Life goes on….

Savage Montreal...

1 HBcafe (LRx3: Trois beautées en une seule journée) 7-22
2 HBmetro (LRx3: Trois beautées en une seule journée) 7-22
3 HBfountain (LRx3: Trois beautées en une seule journée) 7-22
4 HBgraphicartist (LR: Taking Two from Tam-Tams) 7-27
5 HBnurse (LR: Taking Two from Tam-Tams) 7-29
6 HBfrancofolies (LR: Crazy Francophone Sex) 7-30
7 HBelectrique (LR: Foufoun Electrique Sex) 8-1 –not published
8 HBfashiondesign (LR: Flipping the Sexual Script) 8-2
9 HBdaycare (LR: F*cking the From-France French) 8-3 –not published
10 HBmexique (LR: North American Free Sex Agreement) 8-4 –not published
11 HBspinner (LR: Taking One More from Tam-Tams) 8-8 –not published